I joke with just about everyone I know that in a lot of ways, I feel with Ellie that I am a first time mom. I didn’t know what to expect with Leo, didn’t know when babies were “supposed” to do things. When he didn’t sit up until he was ten months or crawl until he was fifteen months or walk until he was two, well I knew that wasn’t typical, but I had nothing to compare it to. I remember when Leo was a baby people saying things like “oh it goes by so fast, enjoy it.” I remember thinking, really? It does? Because it seems like Leo’s been doing this sitting thing for a while. And he’s not crawling and he doesn’t look like he’s about to any time soon. The stages just kind of dragged on and on with him. They were pleasant enough, but I wouldn’t exactly call them fast moving. I sort of secretly loved the fact that he was a baby well up until he was two (I feel like walking is sort of the line of demarcation between baby and toddler).
I’ll never forget Ellie’s three month check-up. As the doctor turned to leave I asked him if everything seemed ok with her. “Yes, why? Are you concerned about something?” His brows furrowed as if alarmed, that he could have possibily missed something. I told him I just didn’t know what it was like to not worry about a baby. With Leo every check up had been stressful, depressing, humbling and often confusing. And Leo was relatively healthy, having been spared the heart problems so many babies with DS have (maybe someday I’ll talk about the emergency c-section that got him here, followed by seven days in the NICU but not tonight).
In no way is this a slight on Leo or is it meant to sound that Ellie is better, but watching Ellie is truly shocking. Now I know what people mean when they say it goes by fast. Here’s how it went, and I don’t think Ellie is above average or anything. I just think this is how it happens. One week she was sitting. A few weeks later she took some tentative crawls. Two weeks after that she had the run of the house as an expert crawler and was pulling up on anything that was (or wasn’t) nailed down. It’s a joy to watch. And it’s fascinating to almost be able to watch her little brain work as she figures out how to move her body in a way to get what she wants. And here’s the thing. Her body cooperates. I remember the same thing with Leo, only everything was just so much harder for him. And slower. It makes me sad in some ways, that everything had to be so deliberate for him. We just took for granted that Ellie would sit and crawl. And that she will walk. And when she does things we clap and cheer but for Leo, it was a celebration, because it got so long to get to wherever he had arrived. The milestones for both of them are different and wonderful. But even with this being #2, I feel like I’m experiencing everything for the first time.
Pictured above, Leo looking so tiny, just about eight months ago with his new sister Ellie, only a few weeks old. Not pictured: their terrified "first time" mom.
1 comment:
Yay! You figured out the pictures.
They are very cute. (Of course, everyone says that...but I do mean it.)
It's been strange to watch the development of my younger kid who has DS. She's almost exactly at half his speed. At 18 months, she's doing the stuff he did at 9.
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