Positive Reinforcement

As I mentioned earlier this week, Ellie has a little cold. It doesn't seem serious, she is just a little cranky. Not her usual happy, easy-going self (to be fair even a sick Ellie is a pretty sweet baby). She has no fever, just a nasty kind of smoker's cough. I have felt bad about going to work every day this week, leaving her at daycare when I'm sure she'd like nothing more than to stay home with her feet on the couch and watch DVRed episodes of Top Chef (Oh wait, that's me). Seriously though, I think she'd like some mommy time. Some extra cuddling and rocking in her favorite rocker.

Tomorrow the guys are coming to put in our backyard fence (at long last! hurrah!). They have asked that I "be around" in case any questions come up. This means that oh darn I will have to take the day off from work.

I just spoke with Ellie's primary caregiver at the daycare and she is indeed still "not herself." Coughing, not eating in her usual voracious manner. But still smiling. Still playing. Still being Ellie. The caregiver had assured me all week that she didn't seem sick enough to warrant me keeping her home. But still. The guilt.

I told her caregiver that I thought I would keep Ellie home tomorrow since I will be home anyway. I think she needs some quiet time (would you want to go to daycare when you had a cold?) Her caregiver's response:

"You're such a good mom."

I don't know why but this made my day. I guess even moms need positive reinforcement. I hardly ever hear this. It sounds silly but it meant so much to me. Maybe because this caregiver is a mom herself and she is older, older than even my mom would be if she were still alive. I think I seek out maternal figures in older women a bit. I seek their approval. It's not concious but I know that I do it. I feel better when they tell me I'm doing the right thing, that I made the right decision, since I can't just call my mom up and ask her what she would do.