The Big Sap at the IEP Meeting

This morning was Leo’s IEP meeting. He’s going into the first grade in the fall. First grade! My baby!

I always get choked up at these meetings. Not because I’m sad about all the things Leo isn’t doing or can’t do (frankly, there isn’t much he can’t do). No, if you’ll indulge me for a moment, I get teary because it’s pretty emotional to sit at a table with a bunch of women who are telling you how great your kid is. And these aren’t people who have to say any of this.

Here were a few of the main points:

-Leo loves to learn. (This has always been one of his greatest strengths, I will agree and really, I think we just lucked out with this one. It’s just his personality. He loves to learn and he loves to please and he loves to be praised). I wish I could take some kind of credit for this but I truly believe kids come with this or they don't.

-According to Ms. L, Leo is a “truly special child and one of the most grateful children” she’s ever met. She told a story of how he’d misplaced his hat. The teacher and the aides looked all over for it. Leo was troubled but not hysterical and was able to move on when he was told they would “find it tomorrow.” Then Mrs. L. tried one more place and lo and behold, the hat was found. Mrs. L. said Leo hugged her and said “thank you, thank you” as though he’d just been given an all day pass to Disney World.

-Handwriting is making progress though still needs work. No surprise there.

-Leo’s sight reading is coming along. He knows 40 sight words in the Edmark Reading Program. Sidenote: This weekend at Costco Leo asked to hold my shopping list. He took one look at the scrawled “dog food” on the little piece of note paper and the massive 35-pound bag on the bottom of cart and declared “dog food!” No doubt about it. That boy can read.

-It’s not just that he can sight read. He loves books and loves reading. This means so much to me, as a lifelong reader and devourer of books, an English major, a journalist, a writer—books have been important to me ever since I fell in love the Bob Books and Bread and Jam for Frances. It’s so important for me to encourage this affection for books in my children. Obviously I can’t make them love books. But I guess all those trips to the library and Barnes & Noble and reading Boynton board books to five day old Leo might be paying off?

-Leo loves his family. We reportedly figure big in his little world. When asked to draw anything, a circus, a beach, the cast of characters in any setting will always include “Mama, Mommy, Ellie and Ruby.” Awwwwwww.

-Leo’s speech therapist reiterated something she had mentioned to me earlier in the year, which is that she’s always judged intelligence by a sense of humor and Leo has a great one, a "sophisticated" (her word, honest) sense of humor, even. And yes, this is when I really choked up. My little boy is funny and not by accident. People aren’t laughing at him, they’re laughing because he’s darn hilarious and he means to be (and best of all he knows it). She also pronounced his receptive language "remarkable." He understands everything. (Whether or not he will actually do what you ask him to do is a whole other conversation.)

-Leo has a girlfriend. She’s in the “typical” kindergarten and her name is Bella. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that her name just happens to be very close to his adored sister Ellie’s nickname (Ellie Belle or just, Belle). That boy loves his sister (loves to push her buttons and drive her crazy and make her cry too).

-Of course not everything is kittens and puppies and rainbows. Leo continues to be a bit overly friendly, doling out hugs to pretty much anyone who will take one. This is no surprise and we struggle with that out in the world too (the waitress who brings the ketchup probably doesn’t really want that cuddle).

-We are having a major and I mean major transportation issue (transportation is part of the IEP). It's really boring to explain here but it has to do with the district not wanting to take Leo the two miles outside of town limits to where his after care program is located (they recently moved). I understand the district's reasoning and we're trying to come up with a solution but it's the kind of thing that wakes me up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. Not good.

-Leo is easily distracted, particularly by the computer (which he adores). When another child is using the computer and Leo is expected to do another activity they pretty much have to build a barricade around the computer area so that Leo can’t see what’s going on. I suggested maybe horse blinders? KIDDING.

-He is stubborn. Sometimes to a fault and to a maddening degree (OK I added that last part). Huh. Really? (Insert sarcasm.)

-Lastly, Leo was administered the standardized test all the “typical” kindergartners took and no surprise he scored low overall, with some notable higher areas (reading and portions of the handwriting and math were stronger, reading comprehension was without a surprise, a bit of a disaster, since his expressive language is still so far behind a typical kindergartners). Mrs. L. included this score in the packet of material that will come home with the IEP tonight, just for our information. “It is what it is, said Mrs.. L. “Leo’s doing just great.”

There was a time I would have focused on this point, above all others, on the fact that Leo is not “normal” and not like all the other kids. But it’s different now. He’s such his own little person and it’s so clear at the end of every school day from his weary little face and sleepy eyes at the dinner table (he’s mastered the art of chewing with his eyes closed and has been known to nearly nod off while eating) how hard he tries every damn day.

There's no reason to be sad. I can’t not be so incredibly proud of him and yes, teary.