Of course they were both smiling adorably here until I broke out the camera and then this turned into a mugshot. But still, look at them! Giant babies! Who play with toys in exersaucers! (Since I took this picture, Lucy officially "outgrew" her swing (psychologically that is, not physically--she just hates it). Harry, on the other hand, still loves him some swing, and I love him in it!)
Five months just seems so old. I mean, relatively speaking. They are thankfully out of the newborn neediness (mostly) and well on their way to being little people with strong personalities and preferences. They are both entertaining and adore being entertained. The nice thing about having "older" kids with babies is I can put the big kids to work. Lucy's fussing and I'm making breakfast? "Ellie! Go talk to Lucy!" That's a common refrain in this house, and I've bought myself a good ten minutes.
Harry is our serious guy but he's lightened up considerably. To be fair, some days he's downright jovial. He has a gaze you can't look away from. An old soul, that's for sure. He doesn't laugh or smile easily, but when he does, he throws his whole body into it and gives you the biggest, goofiest grin.
When you hold him, he throws one arm over your shoulder and looks around at the world with such curiosity and concentration. He is able to soothe himself more and more. He seems to love the exersaucer and all the little toys on it. He's pushing buttons and spinning toys already.
Nighttime sleep is still our struggle with Harry. He wakes about every two and a half to three hours with a gut wrenching scream as though he's being stabbed. His cries are simply guttural. When Harry cries and Lucy is next to him, I swear she gives him this look as if to say "What is your problem? Sometimes she even sticks a tiny, delicate finger in her ear. Big brother is loud.
Crying it Out is definitely in our near future (shudder) with Harry. Otherwise, I might start doing some middle-of-night guttural screaming. I'm just not quite ready. Since they were technically a month early, they're not really five months. Can you tell I'm a bit of a softy?
Lucy is still our little peanut. Our happy peanut. Well, she's not as small as she was, but she still just seems so much more delicate than Harry. And the happy: Seriously, I didn't know it was possible for a baby to be this happy. She just exudes cheer and delight. At Costco or Target or Shoprite, she draws crowds with her smile. No one can really believe it. This baby wakes up laughing. Outright giggling, kicking her little legs and shaking her little arms. (You'll just have to take my word on this as the pictures here don't capture that happy so well.)
Whenever I feel crabby and exhausted and spread so thin I can hardly see, when I feel overcome with guilt that I can't give Leo and Ellie everything they need, I should just look at these pictures. Leo and Ellie love their babies.
I still contend that the hardest thing about twins is that you can't always soothe them both at the same time. Which means sometimes, someone is...not happy. Ellie was definitely the fussier baby (than Leo) and with her it was simple: I held her all the time. I made dinner with one hand almost every night during that good old "Witching Hour" while I cradled her in my other arm. Not exactly possible with twins. I absolutely despise the hours between about 4:45 and 7 p.m. Leo and Ellie are home and hungry and demanding snacks and dinner and baths and "I don't want to watch Super Why" (what is with dinner every.single.night? Such demands!) Meanwhile the babies are fussy and exhausted. They don't nap well in the afternoon and I swear if they had their way they'd be in bed by 6 p.m. but that's not always possible.
Case in point: Lucy had a terrible day today sleep-wise. Seriously the girl must have slept a total of thirty minutes today (she had an ear infection last week and we went back for a check today and she still has fluid, I just don't think she feels good). By 4:30 today she was just done (weren't we all?). While Harry took his nightly pre-dinner siesta, I strolled the halls of our house, cradling exhausted Lucy. Her body became heavier and heavier on my shoulder until I realized she had finally, mercifully, fallen asleep. And really, is there anything better in the world than the feeling of a baby falling asleep on you? It truly does make it all worthwhile.
She's five months old and I can count on one hand how many times she's fallen asleep on my shoulder (I'm not counting falling asleep while nursing, that's cheating). It felt so nice to be able to really comfort her. I've said it before and I'll say it again, with two, so much of the time it's just full on damage control. Keep them not crying, full, dry. Those individual moments of connection are sadly, few and far between.
I've heard it said the first year with twins is the hardest. We're not even six months into the adventure but I'll take the leap and say the first six months is the most difficult part of that year. And would you look at that? We're coming around the bend.
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