This is 40

A little over a week ago, I turned 40. I haven't had much time to really think about it. You're only as old as you feel, age is just a number, blah blah blah blah.

Of course I'm late on this post. Life, these days, wouldn't have it any other way.


This was the scene when I returned home from work on the evening of my birthday. Our babysitter took these pictures. Erin was away on business, so the celebration was simple: vanilla ice cream for the kids that I picked up on the way home. Erin sent me those flowers, half of a flower shop. Amazing.

I hyperventilate a little, to think that my life could be more than half over.

And it's more than a little weird to now only be nine years younger than my mother ever was.

I don't have a lot of profound things to say about being forty years old (It's only been twelve days! Give me a minute!). But I figured for posterity, I would record, in no particular order, a few things I have learned about life and myself, at this milestone:



1. When I get the chance to sit, I take it. I have four kids. I'm tired.

2. I'm finally not self-conscious about eating. During the week it's usually the only time I get to sit down and finish a meal (or a thought, for that matter). I usually eat my lunch at my desk and I used to shove my food aside when people came into my office. Not anymore. When I get the chance to eat, I take it (see #1).

3. I really like the way my finger nails look painted. It's hard to maintain (I don't) but fun to try.

4. Pick your battles. Really. I read something not long ago that I loved:
Before you speak, THINK:
T - is it true?
h - is it helpful?
i -  is it inspiring?
n - is it necessary?
k-  is it kind?
(Again, I make no claim to be perfect in this department, it's a definite work in progress).

5. Forgive people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I struggle with this every day (and believe me, I do not always succeed) but I really try. I can always do better.

6. Smile. You never know when another person really needs to see a happy face. And if you're not feeling so good yourself? The whole "Fake it (in this case, happiness) until you make it?" It often works. Not always, but often. Hey, it's worth a shot.

7. Trust that things have a way of working out. This is another tough one for me, but one I have really improved upon. There was a time, I'd say, from my early twenties to mid-thirties, that I could have probably powered a small town with the amount of energy I expelled, worrying. I have come to realize that although worrying is inevitable, it will not change the outcome. And sometimes, you have to go through the bad (and I do mean the bad) to get to the good.

8. Focus on the things you are grateful for. There is always something to be disappointed about, there is always something to nit pick. But there are always, always things to be grateful for.

9. Expect less. That way, whatever you get? You can just consider it a bonus.

10.  Never underestimate the power of a good cry. It's a cure for (almost) anything.

11. Never underestimate the power of laughter. It's a cure for (almost) anything.

12. Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. This can actually cure anything. (Or so I'm told).

13. Things almost always look better in the morning.

14. Wine, chocolate and coffee also help. Bread and cheese are good too and should be on hand, whenever possible.

15. This too shall pass (probably my most favorite parenting mantra of all time but it can really apply to every aspect of life): Whether it's a sleepless night with a sick baby or a fight with a loved one, nothing is permanent; everything is always changing and evolving. This is both wonderful and absolutely, positively devastating, depending on what you are referring to.

Four days after I turned forty, Erin blessedly returned home (with pastries! All the way from London! Yippee!). And we celebrated again (after all, she turned forty too).

Because in this life?  You just can't celebrate too much.