A Shift: Or, The Summer They Stopped Going to Disney Movies

This is not a recent picture of the children at the movies. Yes, "The Secret Life of Pets" is currently playing, but it's the sequel that's out now. If you look closely at this photo, you'll see this display was touting the first movie (2016) and also, how much younger everyone looks. This was taken on the last day of school when they were 11, 8, 5 and 5, respectively. It was a day they all agreed to see the same movie ("Finding Dory") in a red hot minute. It was also a day, as you can see, that they all agreed to not only appear in a photo together but also smile. This photo popped up in my social media "Memories" the other day, or as I like to call the my daily "Knife to the Heart." 

Those days in that picture, are over.

Two days into Summer 2019 and I am already feeling a shift. I'm marveling at how time sometimes feels like molasses and then you wake up one day and no one can agree on a movie for Friday night movie night and one kid is almost always at a friend's house (or plotting to be). One teenager (!) is sleeping, one almost teen (!) is in her room with the door slammed closed, one eight year old is in his room building a Lego dinosaur world and oh yeah, there is still one kid in sight. She's on the couch, her long, bare legs resting on a throw pillow, nose planted squarely in a book. Content, for now.

Ah, summer. While I welcome the break from packing lunches every day a hard and fast routine, I can feel my blood pressure rising and my anxiety bubbling to the surface, more often than I'd like it to. There's a lot to balance, a lot of opinions to manage, a lot of personalities that don't always, shall we say, mesh? 

While I'm probably the biggest proponent of down time you will find, I also know that one of the surest ways to keep the peace is to STAY BUSY. There's just one problem that's become increasingly clear in the last few months and that is now staring me in the face as the weeks of summer loom ahead (much of them are camp-filled; some are not): It's very difficult to find activities that everyone in our current age group can agree on. For example: I woke up today to a crashing, window rattling, early summer thunderstorm (sidenote: my absolute favorite). It will be dark and drizzly and muggy all day (aka a perfect movie day) and what do you know, it's $7 Tuesdays (and, even more exciting, to me, $5 popcorn) at a local theater today. There's only one problem: The only person who wants to see "Toy Story 4" is... ME. Womp, womp.

Camp hasn't started yet (next week for two, the week after for one). Leo's summer school program hasn't started yet (tomorrow). In a few days, family will be here for a week's visit. We're in an odd holding pattern where the summer routine hasn't kicked in and as I think about "What We Usually Do in Summer When No One Is At Camp " the shift feels glaring. Gone are the days of announcing the day's activity and having everyone just Go Along With It. But also? Gone are the days of having to bring EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE (ask me how much fun it was to take four kids grocery shopping every week in the summer of 2014. And 2015. And 2016. And, well, you get the idea).

Now, with a teen and a tween, I can leave the two younger ones home while I dart out for errands or a dog walk or a much-needed morning run. So that, of course, is a welcome shift. This new-found freedom makes accomplishing many of the simple tasks necessary to keep a family of six on track, far less aggravating and much less stress-inducing. And yet, as I drive away from the house toward Shoprite, just little old me in the eerily quiet minivan and the kids all at home, I'm left feeling just a little bit baffled. What has happened?

It's true what they say about parenting. And about life, really. It's always changing. This too shall pass? It certainly shall. The bad AND the good (parents of young babies, if you are reading this, I PROMISE they WILL sleep through the night. Sooner than you think). 

As I ponder how to best navigate this new change, this new shift, I am struck by the years and years and years of summer days at the playground (I've stopped even suggesting it because I'm just met with groans--no one will DARE step foot there now), the park (Now I get, "Mo-mmy! The park's boring!") and $7 Disney movies and EVERYONE at the grocery store on Friday mornings. And then one day, that's just...gone. That's not to say that good things haven't followed. Babies are squishy and their heads smell like cookies and warm laundry but I will take a big kid sitting across from me at the dinner table telling me about the book they're reading or laughing with them about a grammar snafu (we're nerds, what can I say?) any day, over a baby.

There is more good news: Blessedly, they ALL still like the library and they're always game to go out for ice cream.

"Toy Story 4" is playing at noon today. Is anyone interested? I'll buy the popcorn.