Wanted

I really want this t-shirt. One of the contestant's on "Top Chef" was wearing it the other night. It's so stupid that it's funny. And what can I say, also true. Cough. Ahem.

Again with the Ear Infection and the Nudity

I think I will just begin titling all my posts “Again with the…” since life just seems to be tumbling the same things over and over again lately, specifically:

Ellie is sick again.

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. I mean, what's it been? A whole month without antibiotics? Geesh, who do I think I am expecting to go longer than that with a clean bill of health for both kids in the thick of frigid, germy January?

I’ll cut to the chase since I know how boring the sick posts are. They’re mind numbing for me so I can only imagine how tedious they are for everyone else. I honestly don’t know what to do with this kid, at this point. I had to leave work again early yesterday to pick her up after she spiked a fever after her nap. I didn’t think to call the doctor right away (honestly I wasn’t sure it was necessary but the daycare director freaked me out when she mentioned strep was going around and since I just finished a book about a little girl who dies from a virulent strep infection…) Needless to say I ended up bumrushing the doctor’s office. They have this annoying habit of turning their phones off and forwarding them to the answering service at 4 p.m. The receptionist didn’t look too happy to see us, but we didn’t end up waiting too long to see the doctor.

The diagnosis: another ear infection. Damn. Tubes were not mentioned this time but I’m beginning to wonder. I think this might be her sixth ear infection? I forgot to ask but it seems like a lot to me.

I'm not crazy about the idea of Ellie being on antibiotics yet again. I asked the doctor about some of the research I've read about how a good many (can't remember exact numbers here) ear infections resolve themselves without medication. According to him that's true with older kids. Apparently they don't like to mess around with babies.

We came home from the pediatrician's and Miss Pitiful just sat in her high chair refusing any kind of dinner. I wanted her to eat something, since the antibiotics can upset the stomach but she completely refused. With her droopy, watery eyes and little pouty lips—believe it or not she seemed too miserable to even whine or cry- I decided the best thing to do was just let her go to sleep. She was out cold by 7:30.

Meanwhile, Leo seems to be in serious training for a future as a nudist. Once again last night I went in to turn his light off and there he was, snoring, tush pointed straight at the ceiling, in all his naked glory. I dressed him (he stayed asleep, thankfully) and both kids blissfully slept through the night (hurrah!). I knew something was amiss when I saw the crinkled Pull-Up pushed under Leo’s door and sitting in the hallway this morning. At some point in the night/early morning he had stripped again.

Erin is home today with Ellie. That takes a huge burden off me as I have been feeling like the world’s lousiest employee. With the kids off from school due to a snow day on Wednesday I had to work from home (honestly there was nothing I couldn’t do at home that I did at work but the old saying about 95 percent of life is just showing up haunts me, especially in this climate of lay-offs—the last message I want to send is that I am in any way dispensable). I love having the kids in daycare but I can really see the appeal of a nanny.

Worst of all, I hate feeling annoyed at my own kid for being sick.

I feel like this is coming off sounding extremely ungrateful. I just wish there was something I could do to boost her immunity. She eats well, she gets plenty of sleep. She's developed a taste for yogurt and loves smoothies. I've been better about remembering to give her vitamins. What else can I do?

On a lighter note, I am going out for drinks with friends/old co-workers after work tonight. I don't have to rush home to pick up the kids from daycare. And did I mention there would be drinking?

Again With the Snow

Schools are closed AGAIN. I've lost count of how many snow days we've had so far this school year. I'm going to work from home (like I have a choice).

Leo slept until almost 6 a.m. this morning. In his own bed! How downright indulgent.

Taking a cue from Leo, Ellie (she's so advanced! yay! (said sarcastically)) decided to rearrange my computer keys this weekend. It took me a while to realize the "c" was where the "/" was. We really really need a new computer.

And I just learned that the child of parent who started one of the support groups that was such a lifeline for me after Leo was born, has died from complications from leukemia. I don't know the details, how long he was sick, but please keep this family in your thoughts.

By Request

I had a request for photographic evidence of the bad haircuts from this weekend.

Once again, excuse Leo's dirty face. Why do I always take pictures after dinner?



Luckily for Leo, it's pretty tough (OK, I'll say, it's impossible!) to make Leo NOT cute. And I'm not just saying that--I wrote a note to Leo's teacher about the haircut (I felt the need to say something lest she think we did that to him on purpose). She's the one who reminded me of the impossibility of not being cute.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing for the other person in this picture. And I'm totally not fishing here, guys. I'm just stating how I feel. It's a b-o-r-i-n-g haircut. I'm not sure what I was hoping for. A green streak? Some kind of hair statement? Oh well. I said it about Leo and I'll say it about me: It's just hair.

Leo Raps

This morning when we were leaving the house I warned Leo about the ice on the steps (leftover from the 17 snow storms we've had so far this year). At the same time, Ellie was squirming in my arms and telling me "wa, wa." Yeah, she's in this nervy independent phase where she wants to walk to the car now. With Leo's predilection for bolting into the street or the neighbor's yard, not to mention his love of taunting the dog into making a break for it, letting Ellie walk to the car is not terribly convenient, trust me.

Then Leo starting saying "Ellie wa." I told him that no, Ellie couldn't walk to the car because she's a baby and there's ice on the stairs.

And then of course, the awesome Vanilla Ice song got stuck in my head and then I thought that Leo needed to learn it too. And so without further ado I give you:

The Weekend of Violent and Just Plain Bad Haircuts

Why didn’t I leave well enough alone? Leo’s hair was not that long. Just a little shaggy. Certainly not long enough to warrant bloodshed.

I)
Erin called me from the car to inform me she was never doing it again. “It,” being taking Leo to the kid haircutting place at the mall. I can’t say that I blame her. It’s always been bad but this time, well this time apparently was the Worst Ever. I’m not sure what happens to Leo when placed in the hairdresser’s chair. This is even one of those “fun” places, where you get to sit in a car or a boat or a spaceship and watch the beloved Dora and suck on a lollypop as so called “distractions.” No matter to Leo, who undergoes some kind of primal flight or fight instinct when faced with scissors and a clipper and that plastic cape. And now, all 40 pounds of him is kicking and thrashing and well, kicking a poor woman in the nose, apparently, hard enough to draw a significant amount of blood, enough to require her to exit and another hairdresser to finish the job.

And it would be one thing if it was a good haircut. But it’s not. And of course I don’t blame anyone for that, how could it be good, considering what happened? We should consider ourselves lucky that it’s slightly even. It’s just, well, s-h-o-r-t. Let’s just say Leo could easily join the Marines and fit right in with the look he’s sporting today. Except he's not as stylish as a Marine. I know that it’s hair and it will grow. And I’m trying to cheer myself with the knowledge that with it being so short, he won't need another cut for a very long time.

II)
My own haircut experience was far less dramatic. I haven’t had mine cut by someone other than myself for at least a year. Every weekend I mean to and every weekend gets filled with all the other necessary “to-dos.” This weekend though, I couldn’t take it any more. Part of the problem is I’ve yet to find a place I really like. I went to one shop but they all spoke Spanish the whole time and I know it’s very Seinfeld of me but I felt paranoid, like they were talking about me or laughing at me. I do know a bit of Spanish but not enough to really know what they are saying, but sort of enough to be confused, if that makes sense. So I went back to a place just down the street that I swear was used as the inspiration for Steel Magnolia’s. I should have known better when I walked in and everyone had gray or white hair and they were getting it set in rollers or teased up with hairspray. I was the youngest person in there by thirty years, easy.

I walked out with a “mom bob.” Shorter than I’d like it but at least I didn’t give the woman who cut it a bloody nose in retaliation.

In other weekend news:

-It is still really cold here. I know I promised I wouldn’t harp on this but it’s just pretty remarkable. We are having a real winter. The snow from last week melted some but today it’s just bitter again and there is more snow on the way. I actually think my iPod froze this morning, and no I don't mean as in, had a computer glitch. I mean I think it was too cold for it too work. Really.
-Ellie is continuing to use the potty. She is so pleased with herself. She sits on it, gets a very thoughtful and serious look on her face and then jumps up, hands in the air a la Mary Lou Retton vault dismount, upon completion. Two nights in a row she used the little baby potty in the living room and for the first time ever, Leo used that one too (he always refused that one). Maybe Ellie will successfully potty train Leo, yet. I wonder when I should make the leap from diapers to training pants for Ellie.
-In Leo sleep news, Leo rules. Each night has been better and quieter. But Saturday night was just plain funny. After about an hour of silence from his room, I went to turn off his light (he tends to fall asleep with the light on). There was Leo, naked as the day he was born, sleeping in his familiar still-baby pose, tush in the air, legs tucked tightly underneath him. Nearby on the floor was a crumpled Pull-Up and pajama top and bottom. I was able to dress him without waking him, he actually snored through the redressing process. Oh how I wish I could sleep that soundly. He's still waking up too early for my taste but he's staying in his own bed during the night (so far at least) and for that I am happy. Just don't ask me what compelled the boy to try and sleep nudey on Saturday night.

The Morning After

I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats about how the sleep was at our house last night.

Operation Get Leo to Sleep in His Bed Through the Night Continues.

I spent much of yesterday researching melatonin, speaking with/emailing other parents and talking to Leo’s teacher.

I emailed our plight to my local Ds mom group list and received many responses, most of them echoing our situation. One mom’s email simply said “oh my god - story of my life. We should talk.” And talk we did. She laughed with me as I recounted everything—the laying down with him to go sleep, the night wakings, the getting into our bed. She’d seen/done it all and we both agreed that we’d done everything wrong. Fabulous!

She shared what she had done with her son who is now six. The thesis statement of our conversation: consistency. Do the same thing every night. Tell him over and over that you love him but that he has to go to sleep in his bed. Let him cry and cry he will. She also said that at 4 ½ he shouldn’t be napping anymore and that may be contributing to his issues.

Leo’s teacher agreed with the need for consistency. She also said that Leo is a very smart boy who knows how to get what he wants (gee, really?). She disagreed about cutting the nap.

Another thing that came up and I have heard this from a number of parents is that the sleep issues we’re having should not necessarily be attributed to Down syndrome, that plenty of typical four-year-olds are having similar sleep wars with their parents. Agreed, but from what I’ve read, a large percentage of children with Down syndrome do have sleep issues. I think the developmental delays, coupled with the kids’ communication problems further complicate the situation.

I’m a little afraid to talk about last night because for the most part, it went swimmingly (because yes, I’m the superstitious type-if you talk about how great something is, won’t it inevitably get wrecked?).

We decided not to have the kids read books together as it seems to hype them up, not to mention no body listens to the book reading and they just end up doing gymnastics while Erin or I sit there and read, barely able to hear ourselves speak over the din of laughter. Cute but not very effective as a bedtime “wind down.”

So Erin read to Leo and I read to Ellie in their respective rooms. Then Erin tucked Leo in and closed his door (lock on door and childproof door knob cover on his side of the door so he couldn’t open the door).

Leo cried off and on, sometimes quite hysterically but mostly just pathetically, for about two hours. I took a shower. Erin watched TV in our bedroom. I wasn’t able to hear most of “Grey’s Anatomy” because of the volume of Leo’s cries (but I could see the ridiculous Izzie/Denny plotline lives on, so to speak—no comment.).

And then, around 11 p.m., silence.

Erin and I looked at each other with shocked expressions. It’s not that we thought he would cry all night—I’m not sure what we thought. After a few more minutes of silence I went to turn his light off as I felt certain he had just passed out on his floor with the overhead still on.

Imagine my surprise when I found that he had not only turned his light off but gotten into bed and pulled the covers over his sweet little body. That’s how I found him, tucked into his flannel Elmo sheets, snoring peacefully.

And then he slept all through the night. And in spite of the volume of his cries at times, Ellie didn’t wake once (that might have been the most shocking part of the whole night). I know that he will eventually wake her up and we’ll have to deal with that.

I admit it wasn't easy. You hear your kid crying and your instinct is to go to them. You want them to feel comforted and safe at all times. I'm guessing Leo was not feeling comforted as he cried, alone in his room last night. I'm not sure how to reconcile this, but short of having him sleep in our bed full-time (where I'm sure he would feel very safe and comforted), I think what we're doing is our only option.

Aside from the fact that the damn dog barked to go out in the middle of the night (isn’t it always something?) I basically slept.through.the.night for the first time in a l-o-n-g time. I calculate that I got about 6.5 hours sleep. I still woke up at about 5 a.m. before briefly falling back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:15. Leo slept until about 6:30 a.m.

Now I know that because life is the way it is, that since tomorrow is the weekend, Leo will be up at 5 a.m. I’ve told myself that I will be ok with this, as long as he sleeps through the night and in his own bed. That’s my own, little deal anyway.

I know it won’t always be that like last night. We need to take one night at a time. And by the way, we ended up not giving him any melatonin.

One down, many, many more to go.

Maybe Not a "Miracle," But Worth a Shot?

You know that I’m not crazy about attributing all the negative things that Leo does to the fact that he has Down syndrome, but I’m starting to think the recent sleep problems really are connected to that extra chromosome.

And for the record, Leo was up at 4:30 a.m. this morning.

This is from the book The Melatonin Miracle, which sounds and looks a little cheesy, but at this point I’m willing to try just about anything. There’s also some interesting information about zinc which I feel like I’ve heard something about but never really paid attention to.

“Although we do not usually recommend the use of melatonin for children, there is one exception to our rule. We believe that melatonin may be beneficial to children with Down syndrome in several important ways…

…Down children [sic] also suffer from sleep disturbances. This is not only hard on the Down child, but it can be extremely draining for the parents, who are sleep deprived because of the need to tend to a wakeful child. Caring for a child with Down syndrome requires a great deal of love and patience and a good night’s sleep can make all the difference between feeling completely overwhelmed and being able to cope with the demands of the situation.

We believe that melatonin may enable children with Down syndrome to sleep better, which in turn would reduce some of the stress experienced by their parents. In particular, melatonin helps restore normal REM (rapid eye movement) sleeping patterns, which these children so desperately need. It is during REM sleep that we dream, and if we are regularly deprived of this sleep cycle, we never feel rested and irritability and even more serious emotional disturbances may result. Second, melatonin may provide a boost to Down [sic] childrens’ weakened immune systems, which can help make them less prone to infection. As we have said, melatonin specifically stimulates the thyroid gland and the thymus gland, both of which are involved in the production of T cells, which is crucial for maintaining a strong immune system."
(from The Melatonin Miracle, by Walter Pierpaoli, William Regelson, with Carol Colman)

“Extremely drain[ed]” parents. That would be us.

Anyone? Any kid dosing melatonin stories out there you'd like to share?

Trying Not to Watch TV: Photo Evidence

The other day I got so fed up with the obsessive chanting for "Dora" that I unplugged the television (Leo will keep turning it on even when I ask him to turn it off). So I turned on the iPod and went straight to "The Best of Elmo" (Ellie's favorite). Leo tries to act all big and bad like he's too cool for Elmo now but deep down he still likes him a little.



He sat right down with his little bowl of crackers and watched the iPod (see glowing blue light of iPod dock in top, right corner of photo). Well at least he wasn't watching TV.

By the way, check out Ellie in that photo. Guess who now refuses to sit in the high chair?

Who are these opinionated, bossy little people?

School work

Here's a worksheet Leo came home with last week. He's really doing well with his penmanship and writing his name. Also, I'm pretty impressed by the numbers. He did this himself, really. I'm sure he had some coaching by his teacher/O.T. but they make the kids do everything themselves. We don't call Leo's school "Down syndrome boot camp" for nothing.

I love the little face he drew at the bottom, where it asks "what do you like to share?"
But pretty cool, right? He drew a little person with ears and hair and everything.

Melty

Leo brought this art project home a few weeks ago. It was wrapped carefully in a paper bag. I'm impressed that it made the journey home in the backpack. It's made out of some kind of homemade dough. I'm not quite sure what the story is with it--was it supposed to be melty looking? Did it start out as an "upright" snow man? Anyway, it makes me laugh.

Funny, if it Wasn’t So Pathetic

This morning was definitely a moment where I should have indulged in some laughter rather than tears over the absurdity of the situation.

We all overslept (before you get too excited it was until 6:30 a.m.). Well I didn’t exactly sleep in. Ellie woke up at 5 a.m., I went to her to pat and insert pacifier and she went right back down. I sort of dozed for the next hour in the blue light of the room (I love how the snow makes everything inside brighter, even at night). Woke up with a certain little boy’s feet in my face. I knew that I should get up but decided we all deserved a little extra sleep.

I told myself not to get too cranky about being behind schedule (I did nothing the night before so there were breakfasts and lunches to be made) and I was torn about whether I should have Leo (aka Slow Eat Tiny Bit Taker) eat his breakfast at home or at daycare. With most of the deadlines finally met at work and it being Inauguration Day I was pretty sure work would be a little more casual than usual, in other words it would not be the end of the world if I took the later bus. I even fantasized about the ultimate treat: stopping at Dunkin Donuts after I dropped the kids off.

The morning preparations mostly went off pretty smoothly. I dressed Ellie in one of my favorite sort of outfits: a jean mini skirt and leggings. Leo turned off Noggin and let me help him with his coat without too much cajoling or violence. But then he bolted into the neighbor’s yard, mesmerized by the snow blower. As he did this, I was buckling Ellie into the car seat, so I left her half buckled in (safe, but still only half buckled) to retrieve Leo before he made it to the street.

There was a struggle to get Leo into his car seat (because really, why would he want to get into his car seat when he could play in the snow--you can't really blame him). There was spit up on my black wool coat from Leo who I allowed, against my better judgement, seconds on strawberry smoothie (he spit up until he was nearly three-years-old and he still does, certain things like, um, smoothie.)

I’m almost there, I chanted to myself. I’m almost there. Where’s “there?” you ask? To the bus. To work. Away from the whining. Away from the needing. I love my children. I adore them. I didn’t know I could love two people so much that it scares me, the way I love them. I crave their smell sometimes. I love the way Ellie has a little swath of dark, downy fur between her shoulder blades (sorry Ellie). I love that Leo smells like toast and I love his pudgy, soft, catcher’s mit shaped hands. But sometimes, I really need to get away from them both.

And this morning, I really, really needed a break.

Ten minutes after the snow blower/near darting into the street incident, we arrived at daycare. And five minutes later I overheard a parent chatting with the director about Monday, you know, yesterday? Martin Luther King Jr. Day? The legal holiday that I had off of work and that I just assumed (here’s where I’m an idiot as I should know by now never ever to assume ANYTHING when it relates to kids) would close the daycare, the same daycare that closes for Freaking Columbus Day. Yeah, never heard of that holiday either until I moved east.

The daycare was open yesterday.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you not catch that?

THE DAYCARE WAS OPEN YESTERDAY.

My face grew hot. I felt rage as I listened to this overheard conversation. And of course the rage I felt could only be directed at me, because if I had just read the schedule… But still, the day off that I didn’t get rushed by me in my mind. There was a nap, a matinee of “Marley & Me” (I know, I know, corny, but I read the book and you know how much I enjoy a good cry and the sight of puppies). There was a long walk with just the poor damn dog who never ever gets walked anymore. There was some sort of organizational project that would get worked on uninterrupted, which I always seem to get myself involved in when I have a day off. I might have even mopped my movie theateresque sticky kitchen floors. Or maybe I would just lay on the couch all day watching all the DVRed shows that are bursting nearly beyond capacity.

And then of course, came the shame. The shame that I could be furious that I missed the opportunity to spend a day away from my kids.

It was probably just as well that Ellie was home yesterday as it gave her one more day to hopefully get over whatever little bug she’s been fighting (she was fine yesterday and this morning, save for the runny nose).

I think it’s the culmination of all of it. Leo not sleeping well, Leo not sleeping in his own bed, the obsession with television, the never ending calls for “Dee-Dee,” the UNBELIEVABLE (and yes, I’m screaming here) whiney phase that my daughter is in right now. And the opinions, oh my god does she have opinions. The indecision of an 18-month old—she says she wants smoothie, I make her one and no, no, she really wanted juice. Oy. As an isolated incident it doesn't sound like such a big deal. It's the cumulative affect, I assure you.

Maybe it's coming off of the recent near two week stay-at-home winter break fest. I feel like I sound supremely ungrateful right now. I am so grateful for them, I really am. But sometimes I just want to take a nap, go to a movie by myself, organize a linen closet and stare at a wall. I guess I should reread this post when I am waxing on sentimentaly about the being a stay at home mom and missing my kids.

Geez, what a downer of a post for such an exciting, momentous and long awaited day (I felt like I should have baked red white and blue cupcakes and brought them to work or something). Well, I feel better having just spouted all this. I think I just need to get it out there. And also, Erin just informed me she is sweetly bringing home free, Italian take-out from a wonderful restaurant in the city, so there's that to look forward to. Food always makes things a little better.

Edited to add: The daycare is also closed on Good Friday and it's not a religious school, it just happens to be in a church. Hmphf.

Day Off: Ha

I just returned from the doctor's for Ellie's 18 month check-up and shots and we piggy-backed booster shots for Leo onto the appointment. If I was the sort of person who went to the gym I would have not felt bad about skipping today. What a work-out a double doctor appointment is!

Ellie's grown three inches in two months and gained I think 1.5 pounds. She's in the 95 percentile for height and weight and is according to the doctor, "growing beautifully," so that's nice to hear. As for the recent vomiting/snotty nose, she has that virus that everyone in the great state of New Jersey seems to have so there you go.

I mentioned Leo's sleeping problems to the doctor and asked him if kids with Ds have sleeping problems, knowing even as I asked this that I probably know way more about Ds than our very well intentioned pediatrician does. But hey, I was making conversation, and he asked how we were doing and since sleep is pretty much first and foremost on my mind right now...so he suggested Benadryl for a week. See how that goes. The problem with laying down with him to go to sleep is that he's now waking up in the middle of the night, finding us not there and going to us. He even followed Erin to the bathroom last night (cheered after she went). I realized what the doctor said was true but hearing someone else say it made me think hmm. Maybe we should deal with this and not look at it like a "phase." The biggest problem with having him in our bed every night (well there are many problems) is No Break from Kid. But I'm not sure how I feel about Benadryl. He also mentioned valarium, which I have used (hard to believe there was a time when I had no one interfering with sleep and I couldn't sleep--ah, the life) but don't recall it doing much.

Now the question is what to do with the rest of our day. It's warmer than it's been, so we could go outside (Leo's been dying to play in the snow) but Ellie hates the snow (see pics from post a few weeks ago). I was considering taking the kids to an indoor play space that a mom friend of mine told me about, but this same mom friend told me to avoid it on school holidays because the older kids tend to overrun the littler ones.

In the meantime, Ellie's napping. The shots wore her out. Me too.

Stream of Consciousness Check-In

Confession time. I'm a bit of a perfectionist blogger/writer (can't you tell from my usual stunning prose?). I normally write in a Word document, edit myself and then post. But lately I have been not posting at all and that troubles me, because I don't want to not post and so I am going to not really edit myself here (watch out) and just do a little check in to say we are alive. And to catch up a bit:

-Work has been crazy and busy and taxing and stressful.

-Adding to that stress is that Ellie is sick Again. I feel bad for her and I feel bad for me. I see why people have nannies/sitters at home. Not being able to go to work and having to stay home with her and miss work is feeling like a problem. This week was Not the week to miss a day. Big deadlines. Big stress. And I hate that I found myself mad at my own toddler for being sick. Ridiculous. And I find it ironic too that Leo was supposed to be Mr. Compromised Immune System and what has happened? Little Miss 46 Chromosomes has been the sickly one with never ending cold and mysterious viruses this fall/winter. Compared to her, Leo was a little healthy horse toddler. I won't even talk about the Exorcist style vomiting I was the lucky recipient of last night. Oops I just talked about it. The funniest part (if you can call vomiting funny) was that it happened at the kitchen table where Leo was eating his scrambled egg dinner. Ellie projectiled (sorry) and Leo just kept on eating his eggs as if nothing had happened. I guess when your four a little puke at the table is not such a big thing. He's probably seen it many times at school. At least I found some humor in the situation.

-Leo's sleep travails (and therefore ours) continue. He's still waking up between 5-6 a.m. every morning, but closer to the 5 side of it and sometimes a few minutes before 5 (which is r-e-a-l-l-y painful, even with buckets of coffee). I probably don't have to tell you how precious even ten more minutes of sleep is, but Leo is stubborn. Once he's up, he's up. There is no talking to him or convincing to just lay in our bed and watch some Noggin. To add to the travails, he's also waking up in the middle of the night and getting into bed with us. This is not OK but again with the risk of waking Ellie if we force him to stay in his bed (and cry) we've been putting up with it. At this point my feeling is we all just need to sleep-does it matter that much where it happens? Leo wakes up when Erin leaves at 5ish but he was doing that in his own bed too. Triple Ugh.

-It's cold here. Nine degrees last night said the car thermostat (wow!). I'm not going to complain about it because it's not that big of a deal. I mean it is January on the east coast so whatever. I do miss taking the kids outside and playing in the yard, taking walks. It's not going to last that long though. It does make me wonder how people can live in really cold places though. It's so limiting.

-Leo's in an obsessive phase. Ds? Or just annoying 4-year-old? He gets an idea in his head and will.not.drop.it. It's a little, ok A LOT maddening. The top request? Dora. Dora. Dora. It makes me want to throw that damn TV out the window. On the one hand, we need the 30 minute Dora watching here and there. It allows me a moment of peace, or the opportunity to do exciting things like unload the dishwasher, make dinner, tend to the laundry. On the other hand I don't know when he got so obsessed with watching TV. We don't let him watch that much but he just seems so focused on it. We'll be reading a book or doing Playdough and suddenly he will just think Dora, and start chanting Dora. I try to ignore it. I try to distract him. But it's hard.

-Most shocking event of the week? Ellie pooped on the potty! She is fascinated with the potty, she calls it "boppy." She crawls all over it, climbs on it and the other night when I was trying to get Leo to come into the bathroom to sit on the potty, Little Miss climbs up, sat down and did the business. I am not ready to be potty training two at once! I told the daycare people and they are going to start sitting her on the potty.

-I am trying to calm down and chill out about house duties. I just feel like we have so much clutter and everything is so disorganized and no matter what I do it's never organized enough. I feel like dumping half of our belongings in garbage bags bound for the Salvation Army. I guess it's an early spring cleaning thing. Or maybe it's just that the kids are walking mess makers. It doesn't hurt that I spend my days pouring over cleaning/organization stories at work.

OK, boring stream (hopefully not completely) stream over. So in short, we're alive. Puking. Whiney. Messy and disorganized. Cold. Trying not to watch so much Dora. But alive.

Bad Santa

It's become a Christmas tradition that I take the kids to get their picture taken with Santa on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. This year, with Ellie sick I wasn't too optimistic. I figured she would cry and therefore it would just be Leo in the picture. Disappointing, but OK. I trudged on, dressing them in their sweet little Christmas sweaters, Leo's with snow flakes and Ellie's all red and cute with the soft little (fake) fur collar.

If I had only known that this was the best picture I would get of the kids with Santa:

And so without further ado, I give you this:


The cashier at the Santa photo studio tried to cheer me: "Just think, you'll be able to look back someday and laugh at it," she said. Look back someday? I thought. I'm looking at it right now and laughing. Hard!

The backstory: I did not plan on being in the picture. I'm a firm believer, only kids on Santa's lap (similar to no grown ups in the holiday card photos--except for Cate). But the second I tried to place Ellie on Santa's lap she screamed and cried her "I mean business I am not happy" cry. I scooped her up but it was too late. Ellie's crying tends to send Leo into some kind of sensory overload trance. He does not like it one bit. Her volume had him squirming (note how he's rubbing his eyes in the photo, that's one of the things he does when he's uncomfortable with her crying) and I knew he was not going to sit happily with Santa. Thinking fast, I thought maybe if I sat with them they would be happy for at least the few seconds needed to shoot the photo.

Or not.

Best of all, Santa approached me as I was tucking the kids back into the stroller, to tell me we hadn't taken the worst picture ever, but definitely one of the worst.

Or one of the best, depending on who you ask.

Ever the Ham

It is a dreary, dark, rainy day here. Definitely up there in my list of depressing things is the first seriously rainy day after New Year's. All the holiday lights are down, the decorations stowed away, the trees are abandoned curbside, everyone's back to work and our spirits are just a bit tired. Plus, we had a late opening today, due to some lovely black ice. Now my day feels all out of whack and I'm having a hard time focusing (if only I had a weather event every day to blame my lack of focus).

So I thought I'd post a few funny pictures.

Leo is a funny guy. He loves to make people laugh. I think most kids do but because he's my kid, of course I find him particularly funny.
I took this one yesterday morning. He called to me from the basement playroom, so that I would come to look at the ensemble he had assembled.

This is over the winter break. He had been sitting on the floor in this chair but for some reason decided it would be better on the couch. I think he wanted to be by the dog but she took one look at that chair and took off.

That darn pirate hat again. It gets me every time. Just another typical day at our house, you know, eating oatmeal, being a pirate.

Christmas Leftovers

Just wanted to post a few Christmas morning photos. The House was a big hit and continues to be so. Now the kids are fighting less over the Little People Barn (which we've had for a while) since there are two "house-like" structures to play with. Good call if I do say so myself.


I love that you can see "A Christmas Story" on the television in this shot. Love the annual 24-hour marathon!


Also cool was this pop-up Dr. Seuss book that Erin got Leo (stay away Ellie, who enjoys the sport of ripping pop-ups).

Leo really understood Christmas this year. He was thrilled with the loot that "Duh Duh" (Santa) brought him. They really layed the Christmas vocabulary on thick at school. He knew "Ree" (tree) and "Ree" (wreath). He adored the Christmas tree. Every morning the first thing he wanted to do when coming downstairs was to plug the lights to the tree in. Yeah, not good. He totally figured out how to do this himself.

Back to the gifts. Another great present was a gift certificate for Beyond Play from Grandma and Grandpa, a therapeutic toy catalog (I hadn't realized I'd dropped hints for it by posting about it on my blog but I guess I had-how accidentally smart of me!) I'm going to get the Stomp Launcher for sure.

This Medical Kit was also a hit. Leo's therapist had recommended it to encourage pretend play. I was surprised that he knew exactly what to do with a stethascope. He listened to everyone's heart on Christmas morning, including Ruby the dog.

Next year I have to be better about bringing in the Hanukkah. I was a Bad Jew this year. Didn't light the menorah once! What a Lame-O. We did play dreidel a little but that hardly counts as "doing" Hanukkah. Erg.

Better Late Than Never

I'm really late on posting a bunch of photos. As everyone knows, it snowed all over the country a few weeks ago. We had a nice time playing in it. Well, Leo did.



Ellie, not so much. Does that look like a happy face?

She's fallen and she can't get up (sorry, I couldn't resist). Seriously, she fell and just sort of froze, whining in that position until I came to pick her up. A bit of a priss, but we love her.

There's Leo yelling at me, as per usual when I try to take his picture.

The sad little Snow Princess.

Dee-Dee

When I was pregnant with Leo, Erin and I decided she would be "Mama" and I would be "Mommy." One of Leo's first words was "Mama," and he has gone on to say many things, but he still hasn't mastered "Mommy."

Instead, he calls me "Dee-Dee."

I'm not sure if this is something that a speech therapist could explain--is there something about the formation of the word "Mommy" that's difficult to say? It's a bit of a mystery. I guess I could write his ST a note in his book and see what she thinks. At this point it's just sort of funny. I'm Dee-Dee. Of course I am.

Over the winter break Leo had a bit of a communication explosion. This sounds a little messy, so perhaps "breakthrough" is a better word. He became That Kid. The one who is constantly tugging on his mommy's pant leg, calling to her from the backseat, yelling to her from the couch, shouting to her from the bottom of the stairs: Dee-Dee! Dee-Dee! It was as if he was saying, "Mommy, look at me! Look at what I'm doing/what I did/what I'm going to do!" And since he can't always tell me what he's doing, I often have to stop and look so that he can show me. It could get a little annoying, but it was also wonderful. It has also forced me to take on a very zen tone in the house. I sometimes want to get exasperated at the 90th "Dee-Dee" of the day. But I am also overjoyed. Leo is talking. Leo wants to talk to Me. Who cares what he calls me. He knows I'm his Mommy.

Happy New Year

Hello. We are still here. Apologies for the lack of posts. I don't know how you SAHMs do it. By "it," I mean, "it" all. Post, keep the house in order, keep the kids busy. I feel like I have not had a moment since, well, let's take a little step back in time, shall we? And I'll tell you about the last few weeks at our place.

I had such good intentions, and my plans all lined up in a neat row of tasks to be crossed off the list. But then the Monday before Christmas, I got the late afternoon call from Ellie's daycare. I had dropped her off healthy but at some point in the day she started getting cranky, developed a fever, and by the time I picked her up she was miserable.

And so she was for the next FIVE DAYS.

I was supposed to work on Tuesday, December 23, but was home with a sick Ellie instead. I was supposed to be off Christmas Eve, which was to be my day to Do It All. I was to take the kid's to daycare (Leo's school was closed) and use that day as a day to wrap things up and maybe have a mani/pedi moment for myself. But the best laid plans...

Instead, Christmas Eve was spent risking life and limb on black ice to get Leo to daycare so I could do a few things done in the morning (instead being home with a sick Ellie was pretty unproductive but, OK). We then went to the mall to get the Worst Picture in the History of Santa Pictures Taken (more on that in a later post-it gave new meaning to the expression "so bad it was good.")

I don't mean to be melodramatic, but I've never seen her that miserable. Only wanted to be held and cuddled (which would have been sweet, had I not had a four-year old, presents to still purchase and wrap, about, oh, a thousand cookies to bake, a house to clean...I'll stop there). We think it was just a virus but the doctor, upon me telling him that my dad and stepmom were traveling from Oregon later in the week for a visit, decided to treat her with an antibiotic (for bronchitis, which, when I got home and decided to read up on in Dr. Spock I learned you are supposed to not treat bronchitis with an antibiotic, but anyway).

Luckily, by my family's arrival on Friday she seemed to be rounding a corner, and glimmers of her old self were making themselves known again. There were smiles, and brief periods of happy play with Leo (more on the family visit later).

Thank goodness she's better now. There's nothing more pathetic than a normally happy baby transformed into a coughing, not sleeping, clingy, feverish, scrunchy faced need-fest.

Since she's been better, we've had a wonderful time. There was a relaxing, family-only Christmas Day in which Erin cooked a table of deliciousness. There have been playdates and late sleeping (by Ellie anyway, Leo is a whole other blog post on that topic--one word: UGH), leisurely breakfasts, neighborhood walks, playground visits (though outdoor time has been hampered by the recent, frigid temperatures). There have been solo movies ("Revolutionary Road" for me and "Valkyrie" for Erin), a luxurious, grown-up dinner out with my family (no high chairs needed! Imagine!) and a brief, albeit lovely Thai food takeout date.

It may sound silly, but one of the highlights of the past ten days was yesterday, when I sat in the car parked in the driveway for close to two hours, reading Marley & Me while the kids napped blissfully in their carseats. I'd borrowed the book from the mom at our morning playdate. Just as I'd planned, the kids both fell asleep on the car ride home. The book so far: Oh how I love a good cry.

But. I am exhausted. Bone tired. I know that Leo's bad sleeping lately is not helping, but I really don't think I've been this tired since Ellie's newborn days.

Who knew that a vacation could be so much work?

Funny, we've been so busy the last two weeks, dealing with Ellie's sickness, family time, this is really the first quiet day. I'm making Sneaky Chefesque cauilflower macaroni and cheese, freezing some dinners for when I go back to work and using up the rest of the baking ingredients leftover from Christmas Cookie Bonanza 2008. Later we might go to the library and for a drive (aka the only way Leo will nap). I might treat myself to a ceremonial last cup of coffee from the nearby Dunkin Donuts drive-thru (a mom's secret weapon) which I have just learned is about to "close for remodel until further notice." The horrors. Cue me, Googling for the next, closest, DD drive-thru.

I've missed you all. Happy New Year!