On Autumn Leaves, Daisies (the Organized Kind), Toddler Escapees and Misbehavin' (Charts)

1. I forgot how much fun leaves are.







They are great for burying, throwing, piling onto toy dump trucks...really the possibilities are endless. We broke down and hired the yard crew to help out this year but they didn't come until this week, while everyone was at school and work (and obviously, after these pictures were taken). As well intentioned as I am, neither Erin or I have the time. I tried to rake a little on Saturday while the kids were playing outside and, well, if that's not the definition of a Sisyphean task, then I don't know what is. Someday, we'll have quite the little built-in work crew, but that day is not today.


Leo might enjoy the leaves most of all.

2. Ellie joined Girl Scouts. Well, Daisies. No pictures yet but I'm currently on a mission to purchase the  requisite vest (see above). The store where it can be purchased is only open for three hours two Saturdays a month. I know! I am pretty sure if I do make it to that store I will also need to know the secret handshake. She had her first meeting last Friday and I had to got to leave work early to attend the first parent meeting. There was a lot of squealing and giggling going on at her meeting, which I peeked in on, but that's about all I know of Daisies at this point. Also, there will be cookies to sell (and eat) later in the year. A lot of cookies, so that's something to look forward to. (I had to laugh at one mom at the meeting who made a point of saying she could not be a "cookie helper" because she wouldn't be able to trust herself with all those cookies in her house--apparently "cookie helpers" are required to store the ordered cookies).

3. Did I tell you the babies climbed out their cribs? I didn't? Well, The babies climbed out of their cribs. It happened last week during nap time. I was at work and the babysitter called to tell me she found Harry and Lucy sitting outside of their room, smiling and laughing. And apparently, quite pleased with themselves. Yes, the moment every parent fears, finally happened. I guess this should also be the time that I admit that I believe all children should be in cribs until at least age 20.

Mind you, I would be way less concerned about this if we were only talking about one baby, but two babies? Free reign? In a room with just each other? Oh goodness, NO. I am afraid to even talk about this out loud because I fear that our "solution" (threatening the babies that if they don't stay in their cribs they'll have to go to the doctor and get a shot) will stop working. I'm just not mentally ready for toddlers in beds. Just, no.

4. Ellie is suddenly very focused on behavior charts.



It took me a while to realize the guy on Ellie's behavior chart? Is totally flipping us off (Ellie claims it's supposed to be a thumb's up, but I'm not so sure).


There seems to be a ton of talk about behavior in first grade. Several times since school has started, she's told me that she didn't get to do computers or have free time because of bad behavior (not hers, but someone or "someones" in her class). She is frequently adding and subtracting stars to the above chart and even has Harry and Lucy in on the action. "Do you think I should take one of Lucy's stars away?" Ellie asks (The answer is usually, yes-cough, cough-wait, did I just say that?).


Lucy's version of a "thumb's up." And yes, it makes me laugh, every single time.


Columbus' ship, by Leo
Columbus Day, came and went. I don't know about you, but I did not get the day off.

Beauty Sleep

Last night Ellie and I lay in her bed, post bath and pre-book. As she adjusted her pillows and blankets just so, I reminded her there was no school tomorrow (Yom Kippur) and shuttered inwardly at the reminder that our babysitter would be Home Alone with all four. Not my favorite scenario but luckily it doesn't happen often.

So I don't have to wake you up at all tomorrow! I practically cheered. As I've mentioned before, Ellie is...not a morning person. Unless there are chocolate chip pancakes involved.  You can sleep as late as you want, I exclaimed (knowing full well Ellie--who climbs in our bed every night around 1, would be awake at 5:45 a.m. like the rest of us, when the dual wails commenced).

Can I ask, once again, why is it that babies and children almost always seem to wake up earlier on weekends and holidays (when there's no school)? It truly is one of life's profound and unanswered questions. I reminded Ellie of this.

"I know!" She said. "They always wake up early and annoy the beauty sleep!"

She said it. Why is my beauty sleep being annoyed?

In spite of how it may appear by today's choice of photos, the babies do things other than eat. But they are most definitely in that stage where they are on the move so much that any picture of them where they are not contained is blurry. In other news, I don't have a fancy camera. Also, we didn't punch Harry in his left eye and he has not taken up boxing. You should have seen him by the afternoon the day this photo was taken (Sunday). Couldn't. Open. His. Eye. Thanks Mosquito Bite on Eyebrow! (Also, thank you Benadryl for helping out.)

Speaking of an aspect of sleep that is not annoying, bedtime for the babies continues to be fascinating. I am committing the ultimate sin here (talking about it on the Internet, therefore daring it to change) but I just feel compelled to record it here. The way it's been going is, one baby finishes a bottle (usually Harry sucks his down faster), I clean him up (you'd be appalled by how often these poor babies get actual baths), change him into his pajamas, take him upstairs and rock him/snuggle with him a little--I'm a sucker for an end-of-the-day-cheek-to-cheek snuggle. I just want to breathe them in. I then I plop him down in his crib and he immediately turns on his weird, blue light crib toy. I turn on the sound machine and music box, close the door and move on to do the same routine with Lucy.

When I bring Lucy into the babies' room, Harry practically cheers (if a fifteen month old did in fact cheer). He gasps and sort of laughs at the same time, as if to say "Hey! It's you! My roomie! Welcome roomie!" Lucy in turn, pops up (I always lay her down on her tummy) and seems to greet Harry. A bit of "conversation" ensues back and forth between them as I close the door.

We hear everything on the monitor. Sometimes there's a bit of crying. More like whimpering. Always, there is some kind of what seems to be dialogue between them, though they definitely also "talk" at the same time. Are they just doing what one baby would do (sort of, babble oneself to sleep) and it's just extra cute and unique because there are two of them? Is it some kind of secret twin language? Bedtime stories? Who knows.

I know it could all change tomorrow (and probably will tonight, now that I've blabbed to the world about it). There's probably some sort of sleep regression on the horizon and molars, but what can I say?  For now, it's just such a wonderful way to end the day after all those months in the beginning when bedtime never came and they seemed to just wake each other up all night long and I thought Oh My Goodness How Will I Ever Live Through This?

Their adorable sweetness here (seven days old) belies the fact that they didn't sleep for more than an hour at a time and took turns waking each other up. All together now: OY.

This and That, Weekend Edition

Story of my life: One sleeps. One does not. Side note: Check out Lucy's expression. Do you think she's in love with her big sister?

Are you kidding me with these eyelashes? (Yes, yes, I just discovered Instagram. I know.)

I just love Harry's expression in this picture. Not to mention his chins. My, how life has changed, ay?

So, what's new?

-I want to say that Leo's speech is improving. Apropos of nothing he's suddenly taken to calling everyone "Doctor," i.e., "Doctor Lucy, Doctor Harry." Who knows. This afternoon, on another balmy winter afternoon he ran around the backyard saying he was Kung Fu Panda (at first I thought he was calling himself some kind of banana).

I have no good explanation for this picture. Except that Ellie is big on posing these days and we've gotten a lot of mileage out of those Angelina ears. (Embellished by an exquisite Korean tiara from my sister.)

Again with the posing.

Aaaaand bedtime posing. Speaking of bedtime, the great Leo and Ellie Roommate Experiment has come to an end. The two of them, I don't know. They've been getting on each other's nerves recently. It's a recipe for disaster: Ellie is so starved for attention from someone her own age. Leo gets home from school and he's worked hard all day and just wants to BE. Play Legos, draw, watch Nick Jr. Meanwhile Ellie is crashing into him and asking him to wrestle and trying to sit on his lap. "Ellie! Go Away! Leave me alone!" Yes, thank you private Speech Therapist, those phrases are clear as a bell.

-In any event, it wasn't the bickering that pushed us over the edge (what siblings don't get on each other's nerves?). No, it was the sleep, which you can imagine, is a sacred, valued thing in our lives these days. Leo was waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our bed and that was waking Ellie up and before we knew it, well, there were too many children in the bed and none of us was sleeping very well (oh, except Leo, who is quite possibly the most active sleeper I've ever met--he managed to kick me in the armpit several times one night). He never woke up, of course.

So, wish us luck with the new arrangement. We're trying to see how many permutations of bedrooms we can try. Eventually we'll get it right. (For the record, Leo is now in the downstairs bedroom that was originally supposed to be the nursery).

And finally, guess who can hold her own bottle? It's awesome. Now I can feed two babies and play Words With Friends. Win!

Odds & Ends: Starting the New Year, Still Wrapping Up the Old

Oh, hi.

I used to be so good about taking little notes and remembering things I wanted to write about. And then, well. You know.

In other news, my sister's alma mater won the Rose Bowl. We are all very spirited about the Oregon Ducks. You can take the girl (and the boys) out of Oregon, but you can't take the Oregon out of us.

-Part of of my absence so far in the new year is related to the fact that the babies are having sleep troubles again, earlier in the evening (as opposed to middle of the night, well actually, in addition to middle of the night. Fun!). So my ability to finish a task in the early evening has been sorely affected. Lucy, or as I like to call her, "Flipper" figured out how to flip onto her stomach in her crib (and apparently, in her sleep). She then wakes up furious, confused and, well, screaming. I never much minded one screaming baby, but two? And when one wakes the other up? Not cool.

-As much as we all love the holidays and winter break, I think we were all a little relieved to get back to routine. Although I hesitate to call what we experienced a "break." Leo and Ellie both attended camps which were fabulous but for for the babies and me it meant practically living in the car for a week as we shuttled Prince Leo and Princess Ellie back and forth. It was of course worth it. They were occupied and enriched and best of all exhausted at the end of their busy little days.

-We finally had a cold snap. We experienced some "teens" weather. It honestly barely felt like winter until this week therefore it really didn't feel like Christmas at all. Hard to believe last year we were just beginning our month of being virtually buried under snow. What a difference a year makes, in more ways than snow.

-The following is ridiculously old news yet it's still newsworthy. The week before winter break, Leo appeared in the "mallet group" at his school's winter concert. Don't know what a mallet is in terms of music? Neither did I but it looks much like a xylophone. Anyhoo, Ellie and the babies and I went to see him perform. There was Leo, standing poised and proud, one of seven other (typical) second graders, malleting away, in perfect rhythm and time to old favorites like "Jingle Bells" and "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." I asked how it came to be that Leo was chosen to be in the "Mallet Choir." Apparently the aide that accompanies him to music class with the other second graders simply asked the teacher if Leo could do it and he said yes.

Simple as that.

A Little Whine for Wednesday

Ouch.

It just feels like there is not enough coffee in the world lately. I feel like I've hit some kind of a sleep wall. I can't really figure it out, because the babies aren't sleeping any less than they were before. Suddenly I am just ten times more exhausted than I have been all summer and oops-it's now fall I guess. OK then.

I know it's really blurry but I just couldn't resist. Did someone say fall? Pumpkins?

I keep hearing different things. Six months is the magic mark when the sleep gets better. Or is it four? Since the babies were technically premature, arriving almost a full month early, they're not really almost four months old. Blah blah blah. I know, boring. And it's not like I haven't done this baby/no sleep thing before (although, not with the two babies thing). I know that it gets better. But when you're in the middle of it and your body aches like you have the worst hangover of your life for days and weeks on end? It does not feel like it will get better.

And last night was the season premiere of one of my favorite shows and I (pathetically) looked forward to it a little bit all day. I DVRed it and Erin and I sat down with our little dinner after all the kids were in bed and it felt just a little bit like old times (i.e. pre-babies/aka when I could hope to sort of sleep through the night/finish a sentence without feeling brain dead/wear pants without elastic). And guess what? I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Sleeping for just two hours (which I can usually hope to do once the babies go down for the night between 8 and 9) was more appealing than my favorite show, the show that could almost always put me in a good mood when I needed a little "pick-me-up." Last night? I just found it annoying/like it was trying too hard.

It doesn't help that today dawned especially early. Side note: do the days even begin? They just all seem to blend together lately as days are apt to do when they "end" at 10:30 pm and start up again at 12:30, 2:30, 4:30 (I'm looking at you Harry). But this morning poor Erin had to leave the house at 4:30 (to work an unusually early shift). Leo (in our bed of course) shot up like firecracker when he heard the front door close. "Where's Mama?" he asked, urgently.

And I groaned. I had one baby in my arms in the midst of nursing and the other blessedly (for now) sleeping in the crib. The plan was to get the nursing baby (which one was it, anyway? Like it mattered) back to sleep for at least another hour or two. And I urged Leo to go back to sleep with us. But he would have nothing of it. Thank goodness he managed to amuse himself for the next two hours without me as I crawled back to bed and prayed that he didn't A) escape out of the front or back door (he's recently learned how to use keys in locks, oy) or B) cook himself breakfast ala scrambled eggs on the gas stove (yes, it's been done/attempted by him. Don't ask).

The happy ending here is, my alarm went off at 6:30 and the babies stayed asleep and I went downstairs to find Leo happily playing in the basement and chattering to himself. When he saw me he demanded "Cat in the Hat" and "pizza." I showered him with praise for letting Mommy go back to sleep and I'll let you figure out which request I complied with.

And just in time for all these glorious classes for Ellie, she caught some kind of icky coughing bug that will surely elicit the Bad Mom Stare if we try to go anywhere today. Ellie woke me up in the middle of the night ("I just want my Mommy!" is there anything more pitiful?). I rubbed her back and listened to her seal bark and finally, when I couldn't take it anymore I rifled through the medicine cabinet to find the medication she was prescribed for last year's bout of croup, hoping that it had not turned poisonous in the last fourteen months.

Even when I'm so tired my eyes are watering, it feels good to leave the house. To do something. Yesterday I took Ellie to the mall to get her bangs cut (no more cute short bob for her, she's announced, she wants to "grow pig tails"). We ended up at the mall's indoor playground where we ran into one of Ellie's friends from preschool. Ellie ran around and played and squealed for a good hour and I got to have a bit of adult conversation. But today I think we need to stay in. I'll do my best from keeping Ellie from coughing the plague all over the babies and I'll be putting on another pot of coffee.

Someday, I'm going to miss all of this. This too shall pass, and all of that. But right now? I just need some sleep.

Talk Talk Talk and GO TO SLEEP

I can't get over how much Leo has been talking lately. It's truly a language explosion. I mean, I'm talking stories here folks. Long, detailed tales...of what, I'm often not sure. Poor guy. I can sometimes tell by context, but often, as I've said before, it's full on charades around here. But I love that he's talking as much as he is. To me, that in itself is huge progress. I know we'll get there. And do I even have to explain how exciting it is when I do figure out what he's saying? And really, bless him for being the most patient person I have ever met. He rarely gets frustrated with his slow mommy.

Ellie on the other hand is at the other far extreme. She will.not.stop. Isn't life funny?

Speaking of Ellie, I just returned from her room where, at a little past 9 p.m. she's informed me she can't go to sleep because she's "tendering (pretending) her room is a school." This involves piles of stuffed animals with books in front of them and stuffed animals on her bookshelf which seem to be doubling as bunkbeds. Boarding school, perhaps? Oh and also? She can't go to sleep because she has the hook-ups.

It's hard to get too mad when she also keeps busting into my room to tell me "Mommy I just luff you!"

Sweet dreams to all. Eventually.

Touchstone

There are certain people in my life who either are or were touchstones. Life is just not lived unless I “check in” with them. Funny how, for better or for worse, this blog has become that for me. Even if I have nothing interesting to say, I want to say something.

I tend to not write when I’m tired because I feel boring and boy, I’m tired this week. Dizzying days at work, coupled with tricky, sleep challenged small people makes me, well, b-o-r-i-n-g. So I’ll do my best here, but this is mostly a Check-In.

I’m so late that it’s almost why bother talk about it but last weekend was nice. A little hectic, but nice. I seem to have a hard time finding a graceful compromise between “busy” and over-scheduled. I feel torn between staying home and just hanging out (because we all need it and the small people seem to revel in it, at least for a few hours) and making Lots of Plans. I find myself getting antsy, if we don’t have plans. At least some kind of plan that is not a chore (say, grocery shopping).

Needless to say, the weekend (the weekend? It's freaking Wednesday! Why am I talking about the weekend here? I dunno. I'm grasping. Or maybe I'm still recovering from it) was comprised of the following:

-Some playing at home (inside and out-gorgeous weather!)
-A glorious almost two hours of alone time at Costco. It's almost scary how much I enjoyed this. I was so relaxed I didn't even care that the lines stretched nearly into the pharmacy.
-Erin doing all the laundry (Love Her)
-Leo's first Special Olympics training camp (siblings can come too and Ellie loved it as much as Leo)
-A playdate in Brooklyn (summed up with the following info: crowded playground made me both miss and not miss the old 'hood, a parallel parking job that I will be talking about for months to come even though there were no witnesses to appreciate my greatness other than Leo and Ellie), the irony that the now suburban family (gulp) ventured to Brooklyn for the day and we somehow managed to yes, visit the McDonald's drive-thru (for ice cream for Leo, it was the only thing I could say that would get him to leave the playground). Yes I would have prefered supporting the local, hipster gelato shop but couldn't fit the double stroller through the door.
-A playdate on Sunday with old friends from Ellie's infanthood (all the moms who stayed home are all now back at work and our infants are now, well, toddlers capable of playdates). I give you said toddler (with no friends in sight but trust me they were there) hamming it up:


She started out camera-shy but quickly changed her tune.




Notice the mini chocolate chip muffin. A first. She held onto that thing for Dear Life.

Speaking of plans, Leo has become one scheduled boy. It’s fun that he’s getting older and can really “do” classes now (at least that’s the plan). I already mentioned taekwondo starts this week. He also has a class (9 a.m. Saturday! Whee! Who am I kidding, it’s not like we Sleep In or something) called “The Three C’s: Cooking, Crafts and Ceramics.” That, I cannot wait to see. I mean “C.” Ha. I told you I was tired.

Favorite Books, Bedtime Battles, Steam Cleaners, Star Sightings and For All That Is Good Please No Centipedes

In the spirit of feeling overwhelmed, I give you bullets from the week.

-Monday night when I was reading David Gets in Trouble which Leo adores, I made a “burp” sound, as the book called for. Leo burst into giggles and leaned over and kissed me. I love that I know just how to make him laugh (actually it was a surprise that this would delight him so much but it was duly noted for future need!).

-We’ve been having Pat Benatar “Bedtime is a Battlefield” nights lately with Leo. He’s not crying, just refusing to go to sleep. He was up until 10 p.m. reading on Tuesday night. Reading! I have to say it’s pretty cute to open the door to check on him to find him sitting on his bed, quietly flipping though the pages of Clifford’s Christmas Presents. I finally caved and gave him Tylenol last night, thinking maybe the congestion was making him uncomfortable (though that is much better, thanks Zyrtec). At one point I asked him if someone had given him a latte in the afternoon but received no response from him. After reading, he moved on to more exciting endeavors, specifically dissecting the extra bed in his room, stripping the sheets and pillowcase, I just couldn’t get over how much energy he had. At 10 p.m. I’m not sure if it’s the time change, or what.

-Speaking of books, Ellie is obsessed with this book. She actively seeks it out and can sit and “talk” about all the pictures. The last few nights she has breezed through dinner so that she can go get this book and sit with it on my lap. She seems to know all the pictures by sight (i.e. if I say “where’s the car?” she can show me. It’s just amazing to see her language develop at what feels like warp speed. She has also mastered most of her animals sounds. Seriously, is there anything cuter than a 20-month old meowing like a cat? Except Ellie's "cat" is more like a screech. Even better, really.

-Leo loves that book too. He is so competitive with Ellie and it’s quite sweet. He is so eager, he’s the kid who raises his hand before he knows the answer. I say “where is the boat?” and Leo busts up with a raised hand and says “Mine!” thinks a moment and then points to the boat with a huge grin.

-I had a wonderful birthday last weekend. First of all, it was 70 degrees. Seventy! Degrees! I got to sleep in and then Erin and the kids brought me coffee and a homemade card. It makes all the aggravation worth it when I see those happy little faces greet me in the morning, scamper into the bedroom and jump on top of me. Erin told me I could do whatever I wanted and for me that involved going to Macy’s and buying this:



And no it's not a Swiffer though it kind of looks like one. Oh it is so much more. I had seen an infomercial (I know, I know, sue me, the TV had been left on HGTV the night before and when I turned it on at 6 a.m. it was showing a riveting piece on the Haan steam cleaner). Well it intrigued me and so I did some digging/research and learned that most people seem to think the Haan is (surprise!) a piece of crap but that the Shark seems to be quite popular and effective. The concept is pretty awesome. It steams your floors with water that reaches over 200 degrees farenheit and you wash and reuse the cloth pads that come with it (it supposedly even "sanitizes" your floor, though I don't think we'll be having dinner on the kitchen floors anytime soon). No chemicals and no waste and safe to use on wood floors (which comprise our entire house). I have to say so far so good. I mean, it's not a miracle or anything (a miracle would be someone else cleaning the entire house). Then again any sort of cleaning is better than none which had been my floor cleaning technique as of late. And yes, I spent part of my birthday steam cleaning the floors. I am that big of a nerd.

-Saturday night went to the opening of an amazing new restaurant in the city. Not to name drop (Oh what the hell, here goes) but we saw Caroline Kennedy, Diane Sawyer and her husband Mike Nichols and actor Ralph Fiennes. And oh yes, the food was unbelieveable. We don’t go out much but when we go out, we do it right.

-In Little Girl As Vampire news, we’ve had two straight days of no biting. I hope I’m not jinxing it by talking about it here. We’re just taking it one day at a time.

-The birthday party invites are beginning to roll in for Leo. I’m like Amy, I love a good kid party! These are both kids from Leo’s school where nearly everyone has Down syndrome so there is the added benefit that I won’t feel pressure for Leo to “act” a certain way at the party. Plus I will get to see some of the moms that I rarely get to see. Saturday’s party is here. I think Leo’s head might explode from excitement. These parties just get bigger and bigger. I told Erin we are the holdout hillbillys who still have parties in our backyard. What can I say? We are simple people. Anyway, I am just hoping Leo doesn’t want to hold a centipede at this party (it’s one of the “insect options”). I'm totally down with spiders (thanks Charlotte's Web and Buddhist Dad). But after living in a centipede-filled "garden" (fancy word for basement) apartment in Brooklyn I became a little too well acquainted with centipedes. And if Leo wants to hold one I think my head might explode.

The Sleeping Pretzel and At Long Last, a Pony!

Sleep continues to be touch and go around here.

We've had some middle of the night wake-ups, but not too bad (knock on wood).

I still contend that the two hooligans meet nightly to discuss morning/middle of night wake-up plans. I can just hear them (in my fantasy they both speak in complete sentences, of course: OK, so who's getting up first? No, me!) Because it feels like invariably, when one sleeps in, the other is up at good old 5 a.m.-ish. Not so good.

This morning at 4:15, poor Leo woke up with some shall we say, leakage problems. I attended to them quickly and quietly and pretty much in complete darkness (still not sure how I pulled that off). So imagine my surprise and delight when he was back asleep in no time (I thought for sure he would be up for the day since it's close to his beloved 5 a.m.).

And then I heard the little girl wails. I brought her into bed with us and she was sweet and cuddly and playful. Of course there was no discussion on her part to go back to sleep.

So now I'm running on some serious fumes.

I leave you with Leo the Sleeping Pretzel:



I should document the positions I find him in for a glossy coffee table book. I assure you it would be riveting and thought provoking, as well as infinitely puzzling (how does he do it?)

And also, look closely. Is that a pony tail you see? (Look very closely as Ellie's hair happens to be almost the exact same color as our cabinets and floors!)




A real (little) pony tail? This is big. She won't let me do barrettes. She's not quite hairy enough for two pig tails. At this point I'll take what I can get.

Forgive me for this last one. No pony tail is visible. It's just some garden variety gratuitous cuteness.



Don't know where she got this thin, wispy little hair. None of my Jew-Fro for our girl. Yet.

The Weekend of Violent and Just Plain Bad Haircuts

Why didn’t I leave well enough alone? Leo’s hair was not that long. Just a little shaggy. Certainly not long enough to warrant bloodshed.

I)
Erin called me from the car to inform me she was never doing it again. “It,” being taking Leo to the kid haircutting place at the mall. I can’t say that I blame her. It’s always been bad but this time, well this time apparently was the Worst Ever. I’m not sure what happens to Leo when placed in the hairdresser’s chair. This is even one of those “fun” places, where you get to sit in a car or a boat or a spaceship and watch the beloved Dora and suck on a lollypop as so called “distractions.” No matter to Leo, who undergoes some kind of primal flight or fight instinct when faced with scissors and a clipper and that plastic cape. And now, all 40 pounds of him is kicking and thrashing and well, kicking a poor woman in the nose, apparently, hard enough to draw a significant amount of blood, enough to require her to exit and another hairdresser to finish the job.

And it would be one thing if it was a good haircut. But it’s not. And of course I don’t blame anyone for that, how could it be good, considering what happened? We should consider ourselves lucky that it’s slightly even. It’s just, well, s-h-o-r-t. Let’s just say Leo could easily join the Marines and fit right in with the look he’s sporting today. Except he's not as stylish as a Marine. I know that it’s hair and it will grow. And I’m trying to cheer myself with the knowledge that with it being so short, he won't need another cut for a very long time.

II)
My own haircut experience was far less dramatic. I haven’t had mine cut by someone other than myself for at least a year. Every weekend I mean to and every weekend gets filled with all the other necessary “to-dos.” This weekend though, I couldn’t take it any more. Part of the problem is I’ve yet to find a place I really like. I went to one shop but they all spoke Spanish the whole time and I know it’s very Seinfeld of me but I felt paranoid, like they were talking about me or laughing at me. I do know a bit of Spanish but not enough to really know what they are saying, but sort of enough to be confused, if that makes sense. So I went back to a place just down the street that I swear was used as the inspiration for Steel Magnolia’s. I should have known better when I walked in and everyone had gray or white hair and they were getting it set in rollers or teased up with hairspray. I was the youngest person in there by thirty years, easy.

I walked out with a “mom bob.” Shorter than I’d like it but at least I didn’t give the woman who cut it a bloody nose in retaliation.

In other weekend news:

-It is still really cold here. I know I promised I wouldn’t harp on this but it’s just pretty remarkable. We are having a real winter. The snow from last week melted some but today it’s just bitter again and there is more snow on the way. I actually think my iPod froze this morning, and no I don't mean as in, had a computer glitch. I mean I think it was too cold for it too work. Really.
-Ellie is continuing to use the potty. She is so pleased with herself. She sits on it, gets a very thoughtful and serious look on her face and then jumps up, hands in the air a la Mary Lou Retton vault dismount, upon completion. Two nights in a row she used the little baby potty in the living room and for the first time ever, Leo used that one too (he always refused that one). Maybe Ellie will successfully potty train Leo, yet. I wonder when I should make the leap from diapers to training pants for Ellie.
-In Leo sleep news, Leo rules. Each night has been better and quieter. But Saturday night was just plain funny. After about an hour of silence from his room, I went to turn off his light (he tends to fall asleep with the light on). There was Leo, naked as the day he was born, sleeping in his familiar still-baby pose, tush in the air, legs tucked tightly underneath him. Nearby on the floor was a crumpled Pull-Up and pajama top and bottom. I was able to dress him without waking him, he actually snored through the redressing process. Oh how I wish I could sleep that soundly. He's still waking up too early for my taste but he's staying in his own bed during the night (so far at least) and for that I am happy. Just don't ask me what compelled the boy to try and sleep nudey on Saturday night.

The Morning After

I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats about how the sleep was at our house last night.

Operation Get Leo to Sleep in His Bed Through the Night Continues.

I spent much of yesterday researching melatonin, speaking with/emailing other parents and talking to Leo’s teacher.

I emailed our plight to my local Ds mom group list and received many responses, most of them echoing our situation. One mom’s email simply said “oh my god - story of my life. We should talk.” And talk we did. She laughed with me as I recounted everything—the laying down with him to go sleep, the night wakings, the getting into our bed. She’d seen/done it all and we both agreed that we’d done everything wrong. Fabulous!

She shared what she had done with her son who is now six. The thesis statement of our conversation: consistency. Do the same thing every night. Tell him over and over that you love him but that he has to go to sleep in his bed. Let him cry and cry he will. She also said that at 4 ½ he shouldn’t be napping anymore and that may be contributing to his issues.

Leo’s teacher agreed with the need for consistency. She also said that Leo is a very smart boy who knows how to get what he wants (gee, really?). She disagreed about cutting the nap.

Another thing that came up and I have heard this from a number of parents is that the sleep issues we’re having should not necessarily be attributed to Down syndrome, that plenty of typical four-year-olds are having similar sleep wars with their parents. Agreed, but from what I’ve read, a large percentage of children with Down syndrome do have sleep issues. I think the developmental delays, coupled with the kids’ communication problems further complicate the situation.

I’m a little afraid to talk about last night because for the most part, it went swimmingly (because yes, I’m the superstitious type-if you talk about how great something is, won’t it inevitably get wrecked?).

We decided not to have the kids read books together as it seems to hype them up, not to mention no body listens to the book reading and they just end up doing gymnastics while Erin or I sit there and read, barely able to hear ourselves speak over the din of laughter. Cute but not very effective as a bedtime “wind down.”

So Erin read to Leo and I read to Ellie in their respective rooms. Then Erin tucked Leo in and closed his door (lock on door and childproof door knob cover on his side of the door so he couldn’t open the door).

Leo cried off and on, sometimes quite hysterically but mostly just pathetically, for about two hours. I took a shower. Erin watched TV in our bedroom. I wasn’t able to hear most of “Grey’s Anatomy” because of the volume of Leo’s cries (but I could see the ridiculous Izzie/Denny plotline lives on, so to speak—no comment.).

And then, around 11 p.m., silence.

Erin and I looked at each other with shocked expressions. It’s not that we thought he would cry all night—I’m not sure what we thought. After a few more minutes of silence I went to turn his light off as I felt certain he had just passed out on his floor with the overhead still on.

Imagine my surprise when I found that he had not only turned his light off but gotten into bed and pulled the covers over his sweet little body. That’s how I found him, tucked into his flannel Elmo sheets, snoring peacefully.

And then he slept all through the night. And in spite of the volume of his cries at times, Ellie didn’t wake once (that might have been the most shocking part of the whole night). I know that he will eventually wake her up and we’ll have to deal with that.

I admit it wasn't easy. You hear your kid crying and your instinct is to go to them. You want them to feel comforted and safe at all times. I'm guessing Leo was not feeling comforted as he cried, alone in his room last night. I'm not sure how to reconcile this, but short of having him sleep in our bed full-time (where I'm sure he would feel very safe and comforted), I think what we're doing is our only option.

Aside from the fact that the damn dog barked to go out in the middle of the night (isn’t it always something?) I basically slept.through.the.night for the first time in a l-o-n-g time. I calculate that I got about 6.5 hours sleep. I still woke up at about 5 a.m. before briefly falling back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:15. Leo slept until about 6:30 a.m.

Now I know that because life is the way it is, that since tomorrow is the weekend, Leo will be up at 5 a.m. I’ve told myself that I will be ok with this, as long as he sleeps through the night and in his own bed. That’s my own, little deal anyway.

I know it won’t always be that like last night. We need to take one night at a time. And by the way, we ended up not giving him any melatonin.

One down, many, many more to go.

Maybe Not a "Miracle," But Worth a Shot?

You know that I’m not crazy about attributing all the negative things that Leo does to the fact that he has Down syndrome, but I’m starting to think the recent sleep problems really are connected to that extra chromosome.

And for the record, Leo was up at 4:30 a.m. this morning.

This is from the book The Melatonin Miracle, which sounds and looks a little cheesy, but at this point I’m willing to try just about anything. There’s also some interesting information about zinc which I feel like I’ve heard something about but never really paid attention to.

“Although we do not usually recommend the use of melatonin for children, there is one exception to our rule. We believe that melatonin may be beneficial to children with Down syndrome in several important ways…

…Down children [sic] also suffer from sleep disturbances. This is not only hard on the Down child, but it can be extremely draining for the parents, who are sleep deprived because of the need to tend to a wakeful child. Caring for a child with Down syndrome requires a great deal of love and patience and a good night’s sleep can make all the difference between feeling completely overwhelmed and being able to cope with the demands of the situation.

We believe that melatonin may enable children with Down syndrome to sleep better, which in turn would reduce some of the stress experienced by their parents. In particular, melatonin helps restore normal REM (rapid eye movement) sleeping patterns, which these children so desperately need. It is during REM sleep that we dream, and if we are regularly deprived of this sleep cycle, we never feel rested and irritability and even more serious emotional disturbances may result. Second, melatonin may provide a boost to Down [sic] childrens’ weakened immune systems, which can help make them less prone to infection. As we have said, melatonin specifically stimulates the thyroid gland and the thymus gland, both of which are involved in the production of T cells, which is crucial for maintaining a strong immune system."
(from The Melatonin Miracle, by Walter Pierpaoli, William Regelson, with Carol Colman)

“Extremely drain[ed]” parents. That would be us.

Anyone? Any kid dosing melatonin stories out there you'd like to share?

Funny, if it Wasn’t So Pathetic

This morning was definitely a moment where I should have indulged in some laughter rather than tears over the absurdity of the situation.

We all overslept (before you get too excited it was until 6:30 a.m.). Well I didn’t exactly sleep in. Ellie woke up at 5 a.m., I went to her to pat and insert pacifier and she went right back down. I sort of dozed for the next hour in the blue light of the room (I love how the snow makes everything inside brighter, even at night). Woke up with a certain little boy’s feet in my face. I knew that I should get up but decided we all deserved a little extra sleep.

I told myself not to get too cranky about being behind schedule (I did nothing the night before so there were breakfasts and lunches to be made) and I was torn about whether I should have Leo (aka Slow Eat Tiny Bit Taker) eat his breakfast at home or at daycare. With most of the deadlines finally met at work and it being Inauguration Day I was pretty sure work would be a little more casual than usual, in other words it would not be the end of the world if I took the later bus. I even fantasized about the ultimate treat: stopping at Dunkin Donuts after I dropped the kids off.

The morning preparations mostly went off pretty smoothly. I dressed Ellie in one of my favorite sort of outfits: a jean mini skirt and leggings. Leo turned off Noggin and let me help him with his coat without too much cajoling or violence. But then he bolted into the neighbor’s yard, mesmerized by the snow blower. As he did this, I was buckling Ellie into the car seat, so I left her half buckled in (safe, but still only half buckled) to retrieve Leo before he made it to the street.

There was a struggle to get Leo into his car seat (because really, why would he want to get into his car seat when he could play in the snow--you can't really blame him). There was spit up on my black wool coat from Leo who I allowed, against my better judgement, seconds on strawberry smoothie (he spit up until he was nearly three-years-old and he still does, certain things like, um, smoothie.)

I’m almost there, I chanted to myself. I’m almost there. Where’s “there?” you ask? To the bus. To work. Away from the whining. Away from the needing. I love my children. I adore them. I didn’t know I could love two people so much that it scares me, the way I love them. I crave their smell sometimes. I love the way Ellie has a little swath of dark, downy fur between her shoulder blades (sorry Ellie). I love that Leo smells like toast and I love his pudgy, soft, catcher’s mit shaped hands. But sometimes, I really need to get away from them both.

And this morning, I really, really needed a break.

Ten minutes after the snow blower/near darting into the street incident, we arrived at daycare. And five minutes later I overheard a parent chatting with the director about Monday, you know, yesterday? Martin Luther King Jr. Day? The legal holiday that I had off of work and that I just assumed (here’s where I’m an idiot as I should know by now never ever to assume ANYTHING when it relates to kids) would close the daycare, the same daycare that closes for Freaking Columbus Day. Yeah, never heard of that holiday either until I moved east.

The daycare was open yesterday.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you not catch that?

THE DAYCARE WAS OPEN YESTERDAY.

My face grew hot. I felt rage as I listened to this overheard conversation. And of course the rage I felt could only be directed at me, because if I had just read the schedule… But still, the day off that I didn’t get rushed by me in my mind. There was a nap, a matinee of “Marley & Me” (I know, I know, corny, but I read the book and you know how much I enjoy a good cry and the sight of puppies). There was a long walk with just the poor damn dog who never ever gets walked anymore. There was some sort of organizational project that would get worked on uninterrupted, which I always seem to get myself involved in when I have a day off. I might have even mopped my movie theateresque sticky kitchen floors. Or maybe I would just lay on the couch all day watching all the DVRed shows that are bursting nearly beyond capacity.

And then of course, came the shame. The shame that I could be furious that I missed the opportunity to spend a day away from my kids.

It was probably just as well that Ellie was home yesterday as it gave her one more day to hopefully get over whatever little bug she’s been fighting (she was fine yesterday and this morning, save for the runny nose).

I think it’s the culmination of all of it. Leo not sleeping well, Leo not sleeping in his own bed, the obsession with television, the never ending calls for “Dee-Dee,” the UNBELIEVABLE (and yes, I’m screaming here) whiney phase that my daughter is in right now. And the opinions, oh my god does she have opinions. The indecision of an 18-month old—she says she wants smoothie, I make her one and no, no, she really wanted juice. Oy. As an isolated incident it doesn't sound like such a big deal. It's the cumulative affect, I assure you.

Maybe it's coming off of the recent near two week stay-at-home winter break fest. I feel like I sound supremely ungrateful right now. I am so grateful for them, I really am. But sometimes I just want to take a nap, go to a movie by myself, organize a linen closet and stare at a wall. I guess I should reread this post when I am waxing on sentimentaly about the being a stay at home mom and missing my kids.

Geez, what a downer of a post for such an exciting, momentous and long awaited day (I felt like I should have baked red white and blue cupcakes and brought them to work or something). Well, I feel better having just spouted all this. I think I just need to get it out there. And also, Erin just informed me she is sweetly bringing home free, Italian take-out from a wonderful restaurant in the city, so there's that to look forward to. Food always makes things a little better.

Edited to add: The daycare is also closed on Good Friday and it's not a religious school, it just happens to be in a church. Hmphf.

Day Off: Ha

I just returned from the doctor's for Ellie's 18 month check-up and shots and we piggy-backed booster shots for Leo onto the appointment. If I was the sort of person who went to the gym I would have not felt bad about skipping today. What a work-out a double doctor appointment is!

Ellie's grown three inches in two months and gained I think 1.5 pounds. She's in the 95 percentile for height and weight and is according to the doctor, "growing beautifully," so that's nice to hear. As for the recent vomiting/snotty nose, she has that virus that everyone in the great state of New Jersey seems to have so there you go.

I mentioned Leo's sleeping problems to the doctor and asked him if kids with Ds have sleeping problems, knowing even as I asked this that I probably know way more about Ds than our very well intentioned pediatrician does. But hey, I was making conversation, and he asked how we were doing and since sleep is pretty much first and foremost on my mind right now...so he suggested Benadryl for a week. See how that goes. The problem with laying down with him to go to sleep is that he's now waking up in the middle of the night, finding us not there and going to us. He even followed Erin to the bathroom last night (cheered after she went). I realized what the doctor said was true but hearing someone else say it made me think hmm. Maybe we should deal with this and not look at it like a "phase." The biggest problem with having him in our bed every night (well there are many problems) is No Break from Kid. But I'm not sure how I feel about Benadryl. He also mentioned valarium, which I have used (hard to believe there was a time when I had no one interfering with sleep and I couldn't sleep--ah, the life) but don't recall it doing much.

Now the question is what to do with the rest of our day. It's warmer than it's been, so we could go outside (Leo's been dying to play in the snow) but Ellie hates the snow (see pics from post a few weeks ago). I was considering taking the kids to an indoor play space that a mom friend of mine told me about, but this same mom friend told me to avoid it on school holidays because the older kids tend to overrun the littler ones.

In the meantime, Ellie's napping. The shots wore her out. Me too.

Awake

So Leo was up at 5:41 this morning. Sunday. I got to sleep in yesterday so I shouldn't be complaining, I'm just frustrated. It makes for a l-o-ng day. The nice thing is, he is playing quietly in our basment playroom (I'm sure he's quietly destorying it too, but no matter) allowing me to putter around upstairs in the quiet house, drink coffee, be productive (Facebook, blog).

In the end we got a bit of snow, probably close to a foot out there with the combination of storms. I'm wondering if school will be open tomorrow. I have a short week (just working Monday and Tuesday) so it would be good if I could go in.

We had a fun day yesterday, making the best of the slight snow boundness. We played outside in the morning (Ellie is slowly making it clear that she apppears to not be an outdoors person). She did not like the snow. Leo of course loved it. I took a few cute movies and some nice pictures that I'll post Monday.

The highlight of the day was making the gingerbread house. I will say yet again how I think we have the only four-year-old boy in captivity who doesn't like candy. He didn't try to eat any of the decorations. Not one! That's weird, right? Ellie napped through it but when she came downstairs she squeeled and clapped when she saw the finished product. I mean she was really excited. It was funny.

OK I just heard a door slam ominously downstairs (Leo). I better check on him.

Weekend

This morning was my morning to sleep in.

Leo has a problem with this. I don't know if he misses me, or what.

A little after 8 a.m., he arrived bedside, with his Little Tikes drum (remind me again why I bought that at a garage sale?).

He played me a little song, stood up and proceeded to sneeze scrambled eggs, all over me.

Happy weekend!

We Live and Also, I am a Space Cadet

I think I have broken a record in not blogging. I have had dozens of posts started in my head but there's been Thanksgiving and a busy weekend and a sick Ellie. I have wanted to write about finding long lost relatives, taking the kids to the train show at the New York Botanical Garden (thumbs up) and getting the Christmas tree and Hanukkah Bush (the earliest we've ever done it, much levity is needed this year), and decorating the house and about the new bakeware I bought at Costco and all my optimistic plans to branch out and try some new recipes for holiday cookies this year.

I am on day #2 of staying home with a sick Ellie. She wasn't herself this weekend, but considering she is cutting all four molars and both eye teeth, we chalked it up to teething and also maybe a little cold. But I had that sinking feeling Monday morning when I dropped her off at daycare (and the nagging guilt) and sure enough, just as I sat down to enjoy my Mexican lunch at my desk, I got The Call. Come pick her up. I took her straight to the doctor where she was diagnosed with an ear infection. We were sent home with a prescription and I knew I would at least be home Tuesday. Here's where I give a shout out to my neighborhood pharmacy and I give thanks once again that as much as I sometimes miss the Thai takeout, I'm grateful we no longer live in Brooklyn. I'm pretty sure the pharmacy there would not bring my baby's prescription to my car, go back in to run my credit card and then come back out for me to sign the receipt (Ellie was asleep in the car). Long live the suburbs.

This morning, the plan was to take Ellie to daycare and see how she eased into her return while I took Leo to his follow-up ENT appointment (following his ear cleaning/tube exam sedation two weeks ago). I told the daycare I'd check in with them after Leo's appointment and before I headed into the city for work. Again, with the sinking feeling, as Ellie did NOT look happy to be at daycare when I left her. I sort of knew I'd be back to get her shortly.

Leo was ecstatic to leave daycare, and as an added bonus, alone, with me! No Ellie! Poor guy had no idea we were headed somewhere not so fun, probably his most hated doctor of all, the dreaded ear doctor. But for a moment he had a skip in his step and kept saying "yay" just because. He said hi to everyone on the walk from the car to the doctor's office.

Too bad his appointment isn't actually until tomorrow.

And seriously, I even double checked it. I honestly don't know what my problem was/is. In my defense, sleep has been sucking at our house lately. Two nights in a row Leo has woken up in the middle of the night and ended up in our bed. Sleeping with Leo is like sleeping with an epileptic octopus. There is no other way to describe it. I think he absolutely must have Restless Leg Syndrome. And did I mention he insists on sleeping On me? Like practically on top of me. And last night getting Ellie down was the worst since her newborn days, when she would fall asleep and then wake up with a start, the second we set her down in the Pack N Play. Erin (aka the Baby Whisperer) was finally able to get Ellie down after an hour of me rocking and nuzzling her).

After the morning's dress rehersal for the ENT appointment, I took Leo to school (he was NOT happy about the end of just Mommy and Me, collapsing into a puddle in the parking lot). And then I was back to the daycare to retrieve the still sick Ellie.

So. It's almost 2pm and I have just now finally succeeded in getting Ellie down for a nap (she normally naps around 10am). I feel bad missing work and am optimistic about tomorrow. I don't know what to do. This is when I wish we had a retired grandmother close by. Or any relative, for that matter. But that is a post for another day.

In the meantime, I am vascillating between taking advantage of this quiet moment to lay on the couch and watch "Shakespeare in Love" or cooking an actual dinner for later (as opposed to the usual thaw and stir fry Trader Joe's entree that is our nightly fare). I did all the laundry yesterday so there's nothing else to do (well, truthfully I could do a lot but choose not to. This morning I noticed the lower kitchen cabinets are caked with some sort of yogurt/oatmeal substance and there is always the kitchen floor to mop but I fear that I have hit a bit of a housekeeping wall). Leo is still at school so I should really, really just savor the temporary quiet.

In good news, Ellie has learned a new word being home and sick: juice. Also, she has become quite an expert at "No." I know I will tire of it soon but for now, her little cute baby girl voice saying "no" is pretty freaking adorable. Also, she is mastering body parts--her absolute favorite is nose. I can only conjecture that since mine is on the large side she finds it to be the most fascinating facial body part.

Please say it isn't so. She's been asleep not even 30 minutes and I hear crying. Oy.

I Told You She Likes to Eat

Look closely. Yes Ellie's eye's are closed in these photos. But not because of the flash. It's because she was eating and sleeping. I kid you not. Now that is talent. I know I talk a lot about how much my daughter likes to eat but you have to admit, this is impressive. It was Sunday night, the end of a busy weekend. She had a very short nap Sunday morning (not her usual 2+ hour snooze.) And no afternoon nap. By 6:30 she was spent (as were we all). But not spent enough to miss out on pears and cheese and pasta and Veggy Booty. By the way, she is doing very well with the cup too.

Speaking of food, Trader Joe's yesterday: got ingredient to make Ellie sandwiches. Apricot jam and cream cheese and soy bologna and cheese, both on pita bread. Also, she absolutely loved the rice cake (brown rice, a bonus). I tasted one and they were pretty good! Saltier than I expected (probably why she liked it). Am also going to try Soycatash (gotta love TJ's cutie names). It's a mixture of soy beans, corn and red peppers. She likes frozen peas so why not soy beans?

Leo = Rooster

When did Leo start to feel it was necessary to wake at dawn? To be our in-home rooster? Gah! I am OVER it. I thought kids were supposed to sleep later as they got older. I thought maybe Ellie's 5 a.m.-ish wake-ups were waking Leo, but no. For this morning Ellie didn't make a peep at her usual time but Leo, well Leo woke me with a start. At 5:30 a.m. And did I mention I have the day off today? So I was all set to let us all sleep in. Until the decadent hour of maybe 7 a.m.

My rooster son had other ideas.

How on earth can a person so small have so much energy at such an early hour? There was Leo stuffing the pillows in the laundry hamper. There was Leo slamming all the doors and turning on lights. There was Leo pushing the bedroom rug under the bed. And there I was, fumbling for the remote, trying to see the "On Demand" prompts on the television, without my glasses. Please Dora, please, help me out.

I suppose getting an early start to the day has its advantages. So far today I have shopped for the week (am excited to finally make gazpacho!), bought an electric pump for the blow-up pool my friend Stephanie bought us (it's supposed to be humid and in the 90s this weekend), made the bed (never do this on week days!) and eaten a terrific junk food lunch (I am too embarassed to admit but let's just most days I have salad for lunch). Not today. Next up: baking cookies for the kids' daycare family picnic tonight. And yes, I am home, alone. No kids. Thus explains the unusual productivity.

Three day weekends rule.

Not a Great Start to the Week

I love my kids. I really do. But not so much at 5:15 in the morning. That’s when Leo decided to wake up today. I thought I could get him to play nicely in his room until say, 6am but no go. He started with the banging. Don’t ask me what he was banging, but he was making a lot of noise. And at about 5:18, guess who started crying?

I put Leo in our bedroom to watch Sesame Street while I got dressed and put my makeup on. Ellie whined in her crib. When he’s not annoyed by her crying, Leo seems to feel genuine concern for Ellie and will go to her to try to console her, often bringing a toy or other book. A few minutes into the whining he rushed to her side and pointed to the crib, indicating he wanted to get in. Fine. They actually play quite nicely in there (though I kept an eye on them at all times from the bathroom).

It was nice not having to rush around (we were all dressed and downstairs by 6am--hey, only AN HOUR ahead of schedule. It was nice to have a few extra minutes to hang out with the kids. But.

Ellie fell asleep in the car on the way to daycare which she never does.

I am fantasizing about my own nap time.

It’s going to be a long Monday.

Pictured above: Ellie demonstrating her cruising skills over the weekend and Leo demonstrating his snacking skills. Check out the last one (and please pay no mind to the dried sweet potato face; I was just about to clean her, honest). Anyway, Look Ma! No hands! And don't miss her Michael Jordan Reach For the Coffee Table Move.
The walking. Oh how I am already dreading the walking.