Nine.

Nine years later and Leo's birthday still chokes me up a little, in a way that the others do not.



What strikes me is how much can happen in nine years. How much can change. How much a boy can change, yes, of course.




But also, how much I have changed.

Nine years ago today I became a mom for the first time.



I went to school for eighteen years but this birthday boy is the best teacher I ever had.











Nine years later, it's wonderful to celebrate this day with rainbow saturn cakes (Leo's request) and super hero masks.



And the only tears are happy ones.

Sunrise, Sunset: Back to School

Aaaaand we're back from the Great Oregon Vacation (otherwise known as Sleep is for the Weak).

And our return means one thing: School.

Leo, first day of third grade

Ye Annual First Day of School Portrait by the Front Tree. Can someone please tell me where these giant children came from?

Walking Ellie to kindergarten (OMG, OMG, Breathe--that's me I'm talking to--she was of course, cool as a cucumber). This photo, blurry as it is, really sums it up for me. It could have been taken from a merry-go-round, which, I'll admit, is sometimes how life feels, spinning and spinning, sometimes (often) a little out of control.

Time, it flies. It just keeps marching on and on and on, ready or not, like it or not.

Ellie, first day of kindergarten

I was a little unprepared for how emotional I felt this morning, when I gave Ellie a hug and a kiss and a squeeze and an "I'm so proud of you, I can't wait to hear about your day!"

After all, I've been dropping her off at "school" for more than four and a half years but this...felt different. This is an entirely new beginning. The door on Ellie's baby and toddler and preschooldom has been slammed shut forever. It's wonderful and inevitable, of course, but it stings a little. The beginning of this new life for Ellie is thrilling but yes, it does leave me humming "Sunrise, Sunset." Because really, where does the time go? I know that I will be turning around in a few years as I drop Harry and Lucy off at kindergarten, asking myself the same damn thing.

This morning I lingered for a few minutes in the school yard after Ellie and I said our goodbyes, careful that she not see me. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I stay and watch her go inside with her class? A lot of the other parents seemed to be staying. Ellie fidgeted with the straps of her supply-laden backpack and peered in the window of one of the classrooms and finally, when I realized I had done everything I needed to do, that this was Ellie's experience to have, I turned around and started toward my bus.

Deep breaths.

***

I leave you with this. A teaser of our amazing, exhilarating, exhausting and altogether wonderful trip to Oregon.

More soon.

And here's hoping your back to school season, whatever that might entail, is off to a good start.