Lazy, Crazy Summer Days

It seems that I have started and stopped about a dozen posts lately.

What is there to say? Do I say that weather-wise, this has been the most non-summery summer in my history of living in the New York City area (not complaining, I detest the heat). When all else fails, talk about the weather, right?

Do I talk about how early in the morning, I am not a very nice Mommy? In the last few weeks there have been a couple of instances in which Leo has woken up just south of 5 am. Fine, normal you say, right? Well what’s not normal or acceptable (!) is that he has gone into Ellie’s room at this hour, Ellie, the delightful late sleeper of the family (7:30 most days). This morning took the cake though. Erin heard them laughing uproariously in Ellie’s room. She found Ellie in her crib, jumping up and down and giggling while Leo entertained her with his jump out of the closet antics. He would go into the closet, close the door and then jump out as if to say, surprise! Cue the hysterical laughter of the adoring two-year-old sister. If it hadn’t been so cute I would have strangled Leo, I assure you.

Speaking of this little game, Leo and Ellie are starting to talk to each other. Granted the vocabulary is limited, but it’s happening. A typical conversation goes like this:

Leo: “Ellie! Ellie!”
Ellie: “Yeah?”
Leo: “Dog! Eat!”
Ellie: Yeah Leo. Dog is eating.”

They should take that show on the road, don’t you think?

Do I say that Ellie’s language is positively exploding? And that it has a bit of an um, shall we say demanding theme to it? A few examples:

“I want to eat that right here Mommy.”
“I want to have that right now Mommy.”
"I want play with that now Mommy."

Oh and also it will probably shock no one to learn that she’s a total parrot. Let’s just say she said “Oh my god” clear as a bell the other morning. Note to self (again): watch what I say.

Or should I talk about Ellie's singing? It's become just normal practice for Ellie to walk around singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or the "ABC" song (her two current faves) as she plays with Little People or blocks or whatevs. I have got to get this on video for posterity or I will never forgive myself.

So in short, we are all plugging along. Work has been INSANE which is probably a big part of my absence here. At the end of the day I feel like Holly Hunter’s character in one of my favorite movies of all time, like a “puddle of poured flesh.”

And if this little confession doesn't say it all about the kind of week it's been, I don't know what does: We ran out of dog food, so our poor dog ate brown rice and turkey dogs (organic basmati brown rice from Trader Joe's mind you) two nights in a row. She didn't seem to mind, and you should have seen Ellie tossing hot dogs at the dog like a zookeeper throwing fish at the seals.

There has been a great deal of Popsicle eating and boat driving (check out the cool boat I scored at a garage sale a few weeks ago!).

It can be a pool or a sand box or you can just sit in it and eat Popsicles, which sounds pretty good to me.

We’ve been playing with cloth napkins…er kerchiefs. Look at my little yentas!

Leo seems to be doing well in his summer program. I got a call from the school social worker yesterday wondering how we were doing in our decision on what to do with Leo for the fall. Um, procrastinating? Trying to pretend like there is no decision needed to be made? I am totally avoiding it. I still feel undecided. I still feel a pang to keep him where he is for one more year. He has his whole life for inclusion, would it be so terrible for him to do one more year at the All Down syndrome All the Time School?

Oh and I’ve been doing some shopping. I found a t-shirt with this slogan on it.

I’m sure some people might misconstrue it but I gotta say that I love it. I mean, you have to have a sense of humor. Otherwise, what do you have?

Trying

I'm trying really hard to not be in a bad mood, or a sad mood, for a variety of reasons.

But even I'll admit it's hard to take life too seriously around these people:

(Photo note: It was crazy sock day at camp.)

Musings on Birthdays, Life: Please, Somebody Slap Me

I don’t know what my problem is. I am getting seriously emotional (melancholy? Hormonal?) in my old age.

As I said, Ellie turned two on Sunday.

I’m not sure if it was Sunday night blues but by Sunday afternoon I was downright teary. I’m not forty yet, not really all that close (OK, technically closer to forty than thirty for those of you keeping score) but, lately I just feel like time and life are so fleeting. I mean one minute you're pregnant and the next minute they’re two and blowing out the candles on an Elmo cake, looking both tiny and gigantic, at the same time.

And the next minute they’re slamming the door in your face and screaming at you that they hate you.

I know it’s not quite that simple or fast and a few other things come between those events, but sometimes it feels really, just brief. The whole thing. And sometimes I’m just scared.

And I don’t think it helps that it was just our little family celebrating on Sunday. There were no big crowds, no family (everyone is too far away). Don’t get me wrong, we could have invited people, we chose not to do a big party this year and really I’m OK with that, but in the moment, I don’t know, I felt a sudden pang of regret, which is silly since Ellie’s too little to care and Leo usually spends most of the time at any party we have asking to go downstairs to “play” (in the basement playroom, away from all the people and noise).

We’re going to my sister’s wedding in Oregon next month where pretty much every living family member (on my side) will be, so there’s that too. Another reason not to worry about doing a big event for the birthdays.

I just want everything to be special and perfect for my kids, which I know is totally a set-up for complete and utter disaster and failure. I should relish this time, when the kids are too little to ask for expensive gifts, when the best present of all is still the box the toy came in.

We decided to get Ellie a tricycle but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. I was so proud when I found this for $7 at garage sale.

And then we brought it home and gave it to Ellie and it is massive (next to her) and tippy and hard-edged and death-trap looking (especially when Target ran out of toddler bike helmets). And then I looked on Amazon to read more about the trike and there were 49 reviews saying things like “Run don’t walk from this Big Mistake" and "Don’t be fooled by the cutey vintage look.”

Oops.

I think it will be fine once she gets a little bigger. And Leo can definitely ride it (great, something else for them to fight about).

I know I’m just a ninny sometimes. It’s as if I find stuff to worry and fret over. Ellie had a great birthday. She was with the people who love her. She spent the day playing in the backyard, taking a long nap, eating Popsicles and barbequed turkey dogs, swimming in the kiddie pool and blowing out the candles on a gigantic Elmo cake made by a renowned pastry chef, created just for her.

What more could anybody ask for?

Those Crazy East Coast Drivers

If you were on the road in our parts this weekend, you might have spotted this suspicious duo:

Apologies you were not forewarned.

A little back story about this photo: this was taken at a friend's son's birthday party this weekend. These cars (motorized--I guess technically battery powered, but still! for little kids? Who thought of that and what were they smoking when they came up with it?). But. Leo did amazingly well. He totally figured out the gas pedal and sort of even steered. Sort of. And Ellie, well I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture but she sat so still and patiently while Leo chauffered her. She didn't once try to take the wheel (I don't think she was brave enough) but was completely happy to be driven around. She did hold on to that plastic duck in her lap for dear life.

2

Where does the time go?


Ellie, one day old, 2007

Ellie, age 1

Ellie, age 2

Two years ago today we woke before dawn, dropped our then only child off early at school and drove the empty streets to Manhattan to have a baby. To have our Ellie.

Ellie enjoys the finer things in life, including "wahwewwies" (strawberries), ai-uns (raisins), chee (no translation needed)and she is known to still sneak an occasional ba-ba (shhh...don't tell).

She loves to push Raggedy Ann and Baby around in her doll stroller, "talk" to her Little People as they play in the barn or house, "cook" in her play kitchen and sing the "ABC" song. She's also a mean (and funny) dancer. Remember Elaine on "Seinfeld?" Ellie has her moves beat, hands down. No, really.

Favorite words/expressions include: "What's that?", "I want uppy Mommy," "I want to go bye-bye" and "Leo hit me!"

Happy Birthday to our dear, sweet, silly, opinionated, dramatic, challenging, fun-loving little girl. You are such a delight. I love you so much that it terrifies me sometimes. You are the daughter I always wanted.

Love,
Mommy

Eagle Eye

This must be some kind of a record. I saw two young women with Down syndrome in a ten block walk from my bus to my office this morning.

The first one I recognized from the back. It was her build and her gait. Of course as I passed her I had to confirm it and yes! She was probably about twelve and was holding her grandma's hand. I am always so impressed when I see older kids that appear to be so, well, calm. Leo is NOT calm (I know he's barely five, what do I expect?). I so wanted to stare and eavesdrop (shouldn't we all get some kind of ID tag that allows us free reign to communicate without being judged as freaks, with other families with kids with Down syndrome?).

I swear I can spot them from a block away. It's funny how you develop this sense.

The second girl I saw right outside my office building. She was holding the hand of a young man, maybe her brother? They looked alike.

Anyway, it was just kind of cool. We are everywhere! And apparently out in full force today in New York City.

Alive, and, Well…

Apologies for the absence. I wish I had a good, glamorous excuse.

Barring that, I give you a few recent observations:

-Erin took Leo for an all day excursion in NYC to Little Boy Heaven aka The Intrepid Museum yesterday (see photos, above-the fountain shot was taken at a park just next to the museum and yes, that's Leo piloting a helicopter) while Ellie and I went for mani-pedis. Oh I kid. Really we hit the thrift stores (three words: rick rack jumper-score! (for Ellie)) and she took a marathon nap while I did some chores and caught up on my DVR. The most surprising part of the day was Ellie spent the first hour asking for and looking for Leo. According to Erin, Leo did something similar. Whenever they saw a small girlish looking person Leo would excitedly exclaim “Eh-yee! Eh-yee!” So again, with the love-hate relationship. They aggravate each other to no end but the second one of them is gone their little lives are thrown into chaos.

-Ellie has a bunch of new phrases: “He’s running! He’s walking!” (upon observing people, well, running and walking—this is when we are driving in the car). What do you want? We live in the suburbs. Sadly, walkers are not so commonplace as they were in Brooklyn.

-The other night Leo (aka Lightening Hands) somehow squirmed his little mits into the (baby locked! Honest!) Dreaded Poisonous Under-the-Sink Cabinet. He pulled out the not so deadly pet scent neutralizer (thankfully it’s non-toxic) and managed to spray Ellie squarely in the face. Awesome. Just another reason NOT to have toxic chemicals around…but anyway. Did I mention he managed to do all of this in the span of the few seconds I spent looking away from the two hooligans? I thinking I was doing something nervy, like washing a dish.

Of course, Ellie was terrified and was quickly reduced to a puddle of hysterical tears. I appropriately admonished Leo with the requisite time out. Apparently Ellie was taking notes and paid close attention to what I said to Leo, because all weekend she would walk over to the under-the-sink cabinet and say over and over “Leo spray me! Leo spray me!”

Kind of boring, right? But strangely at the same time, never a dull moment.