Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Rant With a Large Glass of Whine

We’ve had a rough couple of days around here. To borrow the words of my former idol Dan Savage: "Kids are like heroin, a little heroin addiction. When it’s bad, you’ve never been so miserable, but when it’s good you’ve never been so high."

I’m not sure what’s been going on with Leo. I’m hoping he’s just tired, still getting into the swing of back-to-school. The only way I can explain it is he’s just been very angry. Hitting me. Kicking me. Uncooperative. Not helpful. Every other word is no. Bribery is the only way I can get him to do anything. Where is my sweet boy?

It all came to a head last night when I picked him up from after care. When I arrived he was sitting, angelic, reading a book. He barely acknowledged me, which is unlike him. Most nights both kids run towards me like I’m the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, with shrieks of “Mommy! My Mommy’s here!” (it’s one of the best parts of my day). But not last night. Leo did not want to leave with me and he most certainly did not want to leave without the book he was reading.

I tried to usher him out of the room and towards the cubby where coats and bags are housed. Leo kicked. He cried. He punched. Once the baby gate to the room where he'd been reading was closed, he tried to crawl over the gate. He shook the door knob of the closed door and pounded on the window.

Time was, when Leo was smaller and stubborn and angry and pulled something like this, I could just scoop him up and take him wherever we needed to go. Sure, he often went “limp noodle,” but it was still doable. He was malleable. Well, at fifty pounds he’s not so malleable. Plus, he’s old enough to know better, and he does know better. But once he sets his mind on something—a book, a toy, whatever…it’s Look. Out.

Leo acted last night the way he often did at the old after care program. They were not so strict and would let him “borrow” whatever it was he wanted to take. Where he is now, they are not so lenient, and I can understand why but still, it’s tempting to wish we could just cut corners and borrow the damn book for the night.

Instead, Leo sat in the dark outside the school at the bottom of the stairs while I struggled to get Ellie (who was also not being so cooperative) into her car seat. Meanwhile, Leo cried. He wailed, “book! Book!” Our one saving grace was that it wasn’t 15 degrees out (it’s going to be in the balmy high 40s today, can you believe it?).

When I asked him if he was going to stay at the school and sleep on the stairs he lay down and started snoring.

Transitions can just be so maddeningly hard.

Finally I broke down and promised he could watch a DVD in the car (I detest that DVD player and only use it in extreme situations—this one definitely fit the bill).

Three minutes later we were on our way, tucked into car seats, munching on Goldfish and grooving to Dora (though of course there was an argument between Leo and Ellie as to what we’d watch—there was full on whining about Mickey Mouse and not Dora).

***

Not to get all Whine Fest 2010 but the “bad trip” (going with that heroin analogy here even though, No, I’m not into heroin, sheesh) seemed to begin on Wednesday when we went to Leo’s follow-up to his adenoid removal/ear tube surgery.

The good news is, Leo’s ears are healing well and his chronic congestion seems to have subsided (for now). The bad news is, we waited over an hour just to see the doctor and then another hour for the hearing test which Leo flat out refused.

One look at the (admittedly, a little creepy) booth where the test is administered and Leo was transformed into first a wild animal: “No! No! No!.” (and for full, dramatic effect, crawling under chairs in waiting room), followed by a deer in headlights expression. When the people in the crowded waiting room realized we’d been waiting an hour for a test Leo wouldn’t even take, there was a collective gasp. Ah, good old pity. Yea, I did feel a little sorry for myself at that moment, I admit.

And then this morning, there was a big, huge, uncharacteristic refusal to get on the school bus (seriously, most mornings, he practically skips to the bus). Sigh.

I’m hoping everyone just needs a three-day weekend (which we have)...because I know I do. And I know I just need to hold on. I think kids are a lot like what Mark Twain reportedly said about the weather in New England: "If you don't like [it] wait a few minutes."

Breaking news: this parenting thing is hard.

And I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again. It’s a good thing he’s so cute.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you think that maybe the ear tubes and the lessening of fluid has improved his hearing to a level that makes him a bit uncomfortable because he's used to it all being a bit muffled and quieter?

It's just a thought. I hope things get better really quickly! And wow, 40s sound glorious!!

Christina M said...

Sorry about that :( I also love picking Vince up as he comes running across the room, arms in the air.

BUT I love the quote. Hehehe.

Vince is heading for possible tubes, and maye removal of adenoids on Monday.

amy said...

You know, I think it's like what I always say about writing: If it's easy, you're not doing it right. That usually makes me feel better, at least. Ah, transitions. If I recall correctly, you had some good words of advice regarding them for me earlier this week. I do agree that maybe it's related to the ear thing (I always think of the scene in "Hannah and her Sisters" with Woody Allen getting his hearing tested when I think of those booths) and maybe that's making him out of sorts? Clearly the not being able to borrow stuff from after care is not helping matters. All I know is -- I don't really know. We have the same issues with stubborn behavior; I find myself making a fool out of myself trying all sorts of games/role playing and then I hear Annabelle yell at Sophie and realize that's what I sound like. Not good.

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Beth said...

Well Maya that sounds just deligtful. Love the heroin analogy!
Ah, tubes and adenoids! We did that last winter and now we're doing the tubes again on Wednesday as they have finally worked their way out and the fluid is back. Good times, good times.