What began as a lovely evening in which I was fed squishy warm pears by Ellie and kissed repeatedly on the mouth (a recent development-she can’t resist it) rapidly deteriorated at bedtime. Actually, it got downright ugly.
If there’s a more appropriate name for a developmental phase than “Terrible Twos” I don’t know of it.
We are in the thick of it. The throes.
Add in the fact that Ellie might possibly be the most stubborn small human being I have EVER MET (and yes I’m screaming) and well, it’s a recipe for…something. (Evidence of stubbornness: After going potty last night Ellie walked around with her little corduroys around her ankles for what must have been a good thirty minutes, ordering to me: “You do it! You do it!” as in, you pull up my pants Mommy! And I’ll admit it. I totally, finally caved. I just. Couldn’t. Take. It. Any. More.).
Like all of Ellie’s phases and developmental milestones, the good old ‘Twos are new to me. Leo didn’t have them. If I had to pick I would say three was the hardest with him (and to be fair, I’ve heard threes aren’t so hot for the 46 chromosome kiddos either). Awesome.
In any event, the peaceful dinner time snuggling and chatting (Me: “I love you Ellie.” Ellie: “You love me? I love you!” were just a lovely way to end a stressful Monday.
And then I had the gall to suggest we all go upstairs for a bath.
Did you know it can take as long as ten minutes to get up twelve stairs if you drag it out long enough? Don’t worry, I never let it get this far.
It was upstairs that Ellie didn’t want to go potty. Then Ellie didn’t want to get off the potty. Ellie didn’t want to get out of the bath. Ellie got out of the bath but didn’t want to be toweled off. Then began the nightly Catch-Ellie-the-slippery-wet toddler-as-she-renders-Leo’s-room-an-obstacle-course. In other words, anything to avoid the dreaded Put On PJs.
In the end, she dissolved onto the rug in Leo’s room, a screaming, weeping, exhausted little ball of fury and bedtime angst.
The whole scene rendered Leo, well, stunned. Ellie was like a little human car crash he couldn’t look away from. He appeared both fascinated and appalled, bust mostly just speechless. And let me be clear: Leo is speech-delayed, but he is anything but speechless. Most nights he has a lot to say about a lot of things. And more and more, Leo and Ellie are talking to each other. Actual conversations.
But not last night.
Finally, when Ellie calmed down, the three of us read two books and I announced it was time for Ellie to go to bed. She didn’t put up much of a fight, which is how I know she’s really tired (like I didn’t know already). I quietly tucked her in, smoothing her Elmo quilt and “laying down” with her (code for me crouching down to her level and rubbing her belly for a minute or two, my arms through the crib slats).
Leo stood uncharacteristically silent in her doorway, the concerned older brother, the unwitting witness of the collision of Terrible and Two.
6 comments:
Would it be worth it to find a one-level home?
(Just kidding.)
Barbara
Well, it's not a fun stage, the terrible part of the Terrible Twos (and I can vouch for the fact that three tends to be even worse . . . sorry), but you have certainly managed to render it with humor. That'll get you through it :)
Loved the way you described this. Terrific writing..."the nightly Catch-Ellie-the-slippery-wet toddler..." "...- let me be clear: Leo is speech-delayed, but he is anything but speechless." Stepping back, considering the great theater that is raising two kids...
I feel your pain, we've had one of those weeks too with our Ellie. I think it's hard being two and really hard being the parent of someone who is two. The pendulum swings so fast between total sweetness and pure meltdown, it's exhausting. I think we just have to tough it out and when that toddler is kicking your shins try and visualize that moment when they said "I love you" which was probably about 10 seconds earlier!
Hi Maya, Since my baby girl is 10 months old I am relishing each simple day of nursing, hugging, smiling, crawling and other baby wonders. I very clearly remember holding down Asher (maybe 20 months old at the time) EVERY DAY to get him dressed for the day. He would whine "I don't want to" or "Not getting dressed" And I would have a crazed look in my eyes screaming "MOM DECIDES, MOM DECIDES" while holding him down with one arm and wrestling pants on with the other. All so we could go to the indoor play park or music together.
What a great description of the Terrible Two phase. Anika still goes through spells so much like you describe. Everything single thing is a battle and renders her into a sobbing ball on the floor.
Actually this morning she was on the floor sobbing because she had cheerios instead of nutty nuggets.
I can't believe Leo is a kindergartner too now! Somehow Anika ages but friends who moved away stay the same age in my mind.
Thanks for writing.
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