Touching the Stone and Also, Rickrack

I’ve been feeling a little blah lately, hence the no writing. I’m not depressed, just don’t feel like I have much of interest to say. The days have been feeling kind of monotonous, kind of like there are hoops that have to be gone through, tasks to cross off a list and then the end of the day comes and there is the overwhelming feeling that it all starts up again. The laundry keeps piling, the breakfasts and lunches kept having to be made, the commute has to be tolerated, the work day has to be completed.

You know the drill.

Life.

I’m working on trying to pause and enjoy the moment. And being more patient. Instead of cleaning up the kitchen while the kids eat, sit and talk with them. Instead of rushing them into the house when we get home in the evenings, let them literally stop and smell the flowers (which they love to do and try to do every single night even when I’m trying my hardest to be a joyless, rushed grow-up). The rhododendrons in our front yard seem to minds of their own—they don’t bloom every year but for some reason they are all ablaze this year in glorious fuchsia, purple and white. How can they be denied?



So in the tradition of not letting the fact that I have not much to say never stopping me from writing...

--Discipline is hard. The kids are getting old enough to understand consequences. Does that make them listen to me? Um, no. The problem with saying If you don't stop yelling at Ellie you won't get a tortilla (yes these words actually came out of my mouth this morning) is that you actually can't give Leo the tortilla if he yells at Ellie. And then you have to deal with the consequences of Leo not getting the tortilla, which is not possible to do if anyone is expected to get to school and work on time. (And yes, Leo's new, latest favorite snack is a plain, flour tortilla). Probably not going to win an nutrition awards but also, it could be worse.

--Not even a week after I raved about Leo walking straight to the car in the morning without any mad dashes to the street, he of course, made a mad dash toward the street two mornings ago. I flew towards him, leaving poor Ellie half buckled into her car seat (totally safe I assure you, but still!) as Leo made it halfway to our neighbor's yard which is on the corner and close to the street. I SCREAMED. Nice. What must the neighbors think, I don't even want to know. God love Leo's energy and enthusiasm for life but I could REALLY do without the impulsive behavior. And the fearlessness can be frightening.

--Speaking of car seats: Ellie can pretty much climb into hers. When did that happen? She’s still almost too small to reach it but she’s darn close. With a little push on the bottom she’s able to make it. And oh you should see how proud she is. And you should hear Leo cheer for her! He really is the most enthusiastic cheerleader. I think he has a future in it.

--Ellie said “No, Leo!” yesterday. I guess she hears me say it so much that she’s picked it up. Hopefully it will help her begin to be able to defend herself better. She now repeats after me, whenever she hears it (which sadly, is a lot, more than I probably should…). On the bright side, both kids are very good about cheering the other one on for a job well done (see above, re. Ellie car seat climbing).

-I’ve mentioned before that Leo calls me “Dee-dee” (his version of Mommy). I’ve wondered if Leo’s speech/language would rub off on Ellie and so far she calls me Mommy and all the other “right” words are used, except one. Leo has always said “Day” for thanks. He says it with a sign and everything (touching his hand to his chin) I guess day does sort of sound like thanks...guess who else says “day” for “thanks” now? You got it. Oh well. At least they are both quite polite.

--This weekend I was doing puzzles with the kids and had to pick my jaw up off the floor as I watched Ellie assemble the alphabet puzzle perfectly, all the letters into their appropriate spots. I know this is just typical almost 2-year old stuff but I am aghast at how easy everything is for her. It’s almost like she’s cheating or something. I know this makes no sense but it’s just the thought that came to me as I watched her in action.

-In a similar vein, Ellie’s language trajectory continues to stun me. I say something once, ONCE and she picks it up. She can say zebra (and knows what one is). And umbrella. And garbage truck. I know, all typical stuff but for me it is completely new territory.

--We went to a fundraiser for Leo’s school on Sunday. It was held at an old Elk’s Lounge that looked straight out of 1958, no joke. There was a dance floor, a DJ playing oldies, a huge buffet, and a lot of people with Down syndrome dancing. Leo wanted nothing to do with it. Friends and teachers from Leo’s school came over to say Hello and he was the opposite of friendly. He buried his head in Erin’s neck and shot dirty looks to everyone who dared approach us. At one point, when he was sitting at the table with his arms folded on the table, his full lips in a perfect pout. I leaned over to Erin and said “People with Down syndrome are always so happy!”

I honestly think Leo is so busy and social during the week that on the weekends he prefers to be a social hermit. Sometimes I can’t blame him. I worry a little bit about something sensory going on (I kind of hate that term though, doesn’t it seem like A LOT of kids have sensory issues, Down syndrome or no?) Maybe a lot of kids just don’t like loud stuff? I think most of them grow out of it.

--I’ve been watching “In Treatment.” I’ve watched it On Demand and so far have only watched the ones about Mia and April. It’s interesting and so well written. I suppose it appeals to the voyeur in me and also, I love watching people with WORSE problems than mine. It's a little like a car wreck (can't look away) but also strangely reassuring. I am gearing up for the long swath of horrific television that summer TV is. And “Breaking Bad” (the ultimate guy show, but seriously if you are not watching this show you need to be. Don't let the violence scare you. This is one smart show that reaches far beyond its subject matter (dying chemistry teaching cooking crystal meth--yea I know, doesn't get you right away as something you could relate to does it but trust me) is almost over. Whatever will I do?

Lastly, here are two summer items I can’t stop thinking about.

This, for me.

Our kitchen, our whole downstairs really gets crazy hot in the summer (and it's not even summer yet). I suddenly have no tolerance for regular old normal, plastic fans.

And these, for Ellie. I think I got a pair every summer as a little girl.

I’d like to get Leo some sandals too. These
would be adorable on him except they wouldn't work with his orthotics. Also his stupid school makes him wear stupid closed toe shoes (how's that for pouty?).

Oh and speaking of Leo’s feet, his PT called me to inform me that his $375 orthotics don’t appear to fit him. Too small. WTH?

I called the physiatrist (I think that’s what it’s called). His response: PTs say this ALL the time. It’s a constant problem with PTs disagreeing with orthopedists and with the fitting of orthotics. Who knew. We have a follow-up with the orthopedist scheduled for a few weeks from now so we'll see.

Lastly, and perhaps most exciting of all (I definitely buried the lede, folks), Amy has a beautiful new blog! If you read me you probably already read her, but check her out if you haven't already. There's rickrack and more. Because really, you cannot go wrong with rickrack, (and also a wonderful picture of Amy and her gorgeous girls) to say nothing of the writing which will make you laugh, cry and think, probably all at the same time.