Resolutions

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. I think I last made them sometime in high school. Lose thirty pounds. Run five times a week. Let's just say those didn't stick.

The sentiment of a fresh start is nice though. And who isn't a proponent of self-improvement?

Something Cate posted a few weeks ago has resonated for me since I read it (that's a good thing). I can't think of better resolutions than the ones she shared. By the way this is sometimes attributed to Mother Theresa but apparently it's debatable. The Roches also do a wonderful musical of rendition of this too.

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

This is another one of those passages I would just like to tattoo on my arm so I don't forget it. I just want to live it. This year, I'm really going to try.


It's been quite a memorable final week of 2010 for us, what with that little snow storm. I have a feeling 2011 is going to be quite remarkable too.

From our house to yours, a very, very Happy New Year!

Early Gifts

I arrived at the holiday lunch yesterday at Leo’s school (the flyer instructed us all to “dress to impress”) surprised to see Leo, walking the buffet line, holding his little tray, all by himself.

This photo is a bit Where’s Waldo? (and apologies for the horrific composition and that woman's GIANT hand) but I promise you that Leo is there. He is earnestly surveying the spread (upholding the family names, this boy is serious about his food).

He went on to have two helpings of stuffed shells, and kept one hand on my leg for most of the hour (except for when I took this picture, of course).

It was such a nice time. These little moments alone with my boy just mean so much. And spending time with him at school is even more special. He’s so appreciative and excited did I mention, grown up? I just love little glimpses of him in his “other life.” He’s come so far this year. The sentences, the reading, (I made the mistake of leaving a Toys R Us bag out in full view and note to self: can’t do that anymore because oops! My kid can read!). To say nothing of how much he's matured in his behavior, following directions and listening and acting less impulsively.

Leo kept offering me some of his food though I politely declined. Every few minutes he would look around at his friends and teacher and aides and say, “Mommy’s here!” We sat by good buddy Terry (Leo talks about him often) and Terry kept leaning over to me and saying “Leo’s mom!” as if he too, couldn’t quite believe I was there.

Unfortunately I missed the school holiday sing-a-long this morning. But I got a little preview last night on the drive home from aftercare, when Leo busted out with “Feliz Navidad,” singing along with the radio. He knows all the words (this was news to me).

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Santa Love

Going in for the hug. My, we've come a long way.

At long last!

Check out Leo's little hand on Santa's knee. He did not want to get off that lap.

Humpty, The Corrections and a Monday List

Well here we are again. Another week down.

Things continue to be busy and exhausting, but good.

-Leo has moved on from “Hey Diddle Diddle” to “Humpty Dumpty.” When he says the latter, it comes out sounding something like Duddy Duddy. Ask me how long it took me to figure that one out. I had a realization the other day though. Leo continues to have the patience of a saint with me when I can’t understand him. And when I do finally “get it?” It’s like Christmas and a birthday and kittens and puppies all at once. It’s just the best feeling ever, for him and for me. It’s like every little accomplishment or milestone when it comes to Leo: they are celebrations and never taken for granted.

-Ellie had her winter concert last week. It was as adorable as expected and no surprise, required tissues (for me, not her). The little class of three year olds marched in all wearing matching Santa hats. Ellie wore her exquisite red velvet dress with the faux white fur color that looks straight out of “White Christmas,” courtesy of Grandma Jerry (seriously, I wish I could find one in my size). A few kids broke from the line to hug parents in the audience but Ellie remained stoic, opting instead, to exclaim “Miss Jamie! [her teacher] My mommy is here!”

-I’ve decided that living with a three year old is an exercise in constantly being told you are wrong. Because according to Ellie, it’s not tuna, it’s tuna fish. The stuffed animal I gave her after she asked for him at bedtime the other night, he’s a bear, not a lamb [she was right, I confess]. And don't forget to use an absolutely exasperated tone that sounds more like thirteen year old than three year old. Thankfully, Ellie still tells me that she is “tendering” to do something. I still vow to never correct her and tell her it’s “pretending.” And I might cry when she stops saying “tendering” because I find it so adorable.

-On a positive note, Ellie is suddenly Little Miss Compliment. She likes my hair (when worn down). She likes my scarf and my glasses and my new boots. She likes Erin’s headband and Miss Jamie’s sequined skirt. It makes me smile.

-Leo had a note in his backpack about a new program at school wherein “Finn” the dog (a Labrador) will visit various classes and the children will practice reading to him. I love this idea and can’t wait to hear how it turns out. I promise to report back.

-I am still in denial about all the holiday baking I have to do. This weekend is going to have to be IT. Where are my elves when I need them?

More More More

Yesterday we made a gingerbread house. From the second I came in the door Saturday afternoon with the box (a kit from Trader Joe’s—two thumbs way up, by the way), Leo and Ellie were both crazed about when we were going to make it.

This was the first year the two of them did it together. I realized we skipped it last year (not sure why) and the year before Ellie was napping (I know this from the pictures because she was noticeably absent). I went back and forth about getting two houses, worried there would be some construction/candy placement bickering but decided to just get one and lo and behold it was the first of many Christmas miracles, Leo and Ellie were both little angels throughout the whole process. Amazing what a little (OK a lot) of candy can do for a mood on a Sunday morning, isn’t it?

Well, they were mostly angels.

While Ellie was bent on snacking, Leo was more interested in helping organize the candy. And when I say organize, I mean spill candy corn everywhere. Ah my boy adores good old cause and effect. His little “accidents” are always followed by profuse apologies though so I can never really get mad.

And believe it or not, I remained calm even without Bailey’s in my coffee. With holiday music playing on the iPod, the Christmas tree lights twinkling in the background and the sun streaming in the kitchen window and these two little scrumptious people, how could I be anything but happy? Even if half the candy was at some point, on the floor.

Ellie is a Candy Fiend, as I’m sure most three year olds are. Leo, meanwhile, is probably the only child I have ever met who, while making a house comprised of candy, asks for grapes. I’m not kidding.

I don’t think Ellie could quite believe it when, every time she asked if she could try a gummie bear or an M&M, I answered “Sure!” and “Why not?” and “Go for it!” At one point she had two small lollipops AND a piece of gum in her mouth at the same time. I mean really, how many times a year do we build gingerbread houses? And yes, I even gave her her own bowl of candy corn. She was, well, it was pure bliss. By the end of it I swear she had sugar in her eyelashes.

I read on this site a recommendation to use up old Halloween candy on gingerbread houses, which was genius, I thought. The kit I bought came with candy but not nearly enough. I’m of the belief that when it comes to gingerbread houses, more is definitely more. That site also used a cupcake pan to hold the candy which also worked out great (kept candy close together, minimized spillage (ahem) and I didn’t have to wash or use fourteen tiny bowls).


And now, our pretty little house is living on our kitchen table for all to admire.

If I could only figure out how to keep Ellie from eating it.

I mean just look at her, plotting her next move.
Oh well. Maybe I'll just pretend not to notice.

Leo Can Have the Duplos. I'll Take the Caviar.

Happy Hanukkah!

(Photo from a past Hanukkah. Last night was not the sixth night).

This seems to be the first year that anyone is very interested in lighting the menorah. Ellie rushes to get the candles every night and asks me how many we need. Leo refuses to assist in the lighting, preferring to keep his distance from the flame I guess, but he sings the blessing along with me. Ellie is fascinated by lighting the candles and wraps her little hand around mine as we light each one together.

Of course, I’m sure the presents aren’t hurting in piqueing their interest in the Not As Glamorous As Christmas Holiday. Growing up, I did not come from one of those “a present every night for eights days” families. I scoffed at those spoiled ones (hmm…jealous much?) but now that I’m a parent? Well? I have to admit. Giving little presents every night is more than a little fun.

Yesterday I spent way too much time on the gathering of the little gifts. A trip to the Lego store in Rockefeller Center was amazing. Crowded, but amazing. I settled on this (a Duplo Hayride!) and Leo was in love. He didn’t want to go to bed because he wanted to play with it. Then when he finally came upstairs (with the truck of course), he wanted to take a bath because he wanted to bring the hayride into the bath.

And so I think it’s safe to say that this holiday season for Leo will be recalled as the year of the Lego. We went with Duplos because I think they’ll be easier for Leo. I hope I’m right. I played around with some of the “bigger kid” Legos at the store yesterday and they are tiny and even I had a hard time fitting some of them together and especially taking them apart. I’m stifling the urge to go back to the Lego store on my lunch break today for another little set like the one I gave him last night. It’s all leading up to the piece de resistance, which is this, to be given on Christmas morning.

This weekend I’m thinking about latkes. The latkes (and other recipes) featured here look amazing (creme fraiche and caviar? Yes please!). But I’ve never made latkes that actually tasted good and did anything more than make the house smell like onions and potatoes for a week. Maybe because I forgot the caviar? So maybe we’ll go with takeout. I am a sucker for sour cream and apple sauce though.

Oh and also? The whole If you don’t get dressed/come upstairs/put your coat on/fill-in-the-blank, Santa is not coming and no more Hanukkah presents…Totally, totally works. It’s like, MAGIC.

What am I going to do on December 26 when they stop listening to me again?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Oh I want to stop time right now. I love love love the stretch of days between Thanksgiving all the way through New Year’s. It means warm houses and cooking and baking and choral music and decorations and time off work and time home with the kids and visiting family. I’m in a bit of denial about all the gifts that need purchasing and goodies that need to made, wrapped and distributed to various teachers, therapists and caregivers. It's making me feel a little itchy, to be honest. Oh heck, it will be fun, right? And it will all get done because it always does.

Here are a few other tidbits, since I seem incapable of a coherent post.

-All this “home time” the last four days reminded me how the kids have been playing soooo well together lately, I’m almost afraid to talk about it. They come up with elaborate schemes, such as outdoor tea parties which translate to: put all the outdoor chairs around the mini trampoline, sit in the chairs, and pretend to eat and drink. There is also train assembling (lining up various furniture to make “trains”) and of course, good old stand-bys, like “making a bed” (see above). To say nothing of “doctor,” and “school.”

-Most of these ideas are orchestrated by Ellie (who is quite the boss) but Leo is an eager participant. There is less bickering now that Ellie can call Leo on his antics (I don’t love the tattle tale trait but it’s mighty convenient when I’m upstairs and they are in the basement playroom and Leo is doing something like, oh I don’t know, stacking a stool on top of a table so that he can reach a shelf). NOT COOL and he knows it but this doesn’t stop him from trying to get away with it.

-Leo is talking a lot. While he continues to be difficult to understand at times, he has a couple of new phrases that come out clear as a bell:
“I got it.”
“No thank you.”
“Here you go.”
"I don't know."

-Ellie no longer seems to enjoy being my translator. If I ask her what Leo is saying she almost always responds “I dunno” whereas two months ago she always knew just what he was saying. However when they are playing and I hear them talking to each other and I have no earthly idea what Leo is saying, Ellie always does. So I think she’s just holding out on me. Oh well. As long as they understand each other.

-We got our Christmas tree on Saturday. I told you we like to drink up this season for all it's worth. I almost think we don't need to bother with presents for Leo this year because he was positively enthralled with all the decorations. I'm kidding of course about the presents but he had a blast with it all. The little figurines and miniature Christmas themed stuffed animals and music boxes collected over the years and dreidels make for some good, good times. Who knew? He assembled all the "guys" so that it looked like there was this giant holiday caucus between a porcelain Santa and about twenty various Rudolphs, snowmen, ceramic houses and trains. Then, as we were decorating the tree Ellie announced: "This is going to be the best Christmas ever!" Minutes later came the melodramatic proclamation that "Christmas was ruined!" I have no idea where she gets this kind of talk.

-You can call me cheesy (it wouldn't be the first time) but I cannot stop listening to “Just the Way You Are” from last week’s “Glee.” I would watch that wedding reception scene too, non-stop too if anyone in the house let me view anything but Nick Jr., but that’s another story. (Scroll down to the second video clip on this page to see it).

That song. That scene. It was just…life affirming. And inspiring and could apply to so many realms of life: Down syndrome, being a gay teenager, being gay period, not feeling like you fit in or belong or matter, no matter what it is that makes you "different." Well you do. You’re amazing. Just the way you are.

Thankful

No question, the highlight of last week (and there weren’t many, trust me, other than we got through it) was the post dinner Beatles dance party on Tuesday night. There was a story on NPR (the supper time soundtrack) about the Beatles finally being released on iTunes. For some reason I decided to play the kids a few songs, which led to one of my all time favorites—“In My Life.” So there was Leo, strumming his soy corn dog stick like a guitar. And there was Ellie, boogying, a la one of the Peanuts Kids.

It was a lovely, silly, sweet transcending moment, amidst a week of work stress and a frantic call from the school nurse to quickly come get a puking Leo. Let’s just say the words “New York” and “New Jersey” and “quickly” should never be used together. Oh and Leo was fine, by the way.

In other news, who doesn’t LOVE a two and a half day work week? Let’s hear it for long holiday weekends!

Speaking of Thanksgiving, last week when I was dropping Ellie off at school in the morning, I spotted her class’ latest Thanksgiving creation (no, not that one up there, though that one is pretty spectacular and offered me a much needed laugh—oops, is it mean to giggle at your kid’s art project?). No, the piece I’m talking about was a simple card with a small, clumsy turkey collage. Underneath, each child had dictated “what they were thankful for.” Ellie’s read:

“I’m thankful for Leo.”

And darn it if I didn’t tear up a little in the pre-k hallway.

A Haircut and a Stab to the Heart

Another haircut for Leo, another few years shaved off my life.

I thought we’d get at least another month out of Leo’s last haircut (right before school started) but alas it was not to be. The telltale side burns were sprouting, as well as the random stray neck hairs, to say nothing of the very early yet still troubling signs of a mullet. His hair grows so dang fast. Maybe it’s all the scrambled eggs?

In any case, I felt pretty heel-like when I enticed him to a Sunday morning trip to his beloved bookstore, only to plop him right in front of the dreaded Kid Haircut Place. Don’t worry, we went to the bookstore immediately after the haircut and that had been the plan all along. The haircut preceeding the bookstore was just a small detail that was, shall we say, left out of the equation.

I can safely say 11 a.m. to 11:10 a.m. yesterday was one of the longest ten minutes stretches of time I’ve experience for a while. Not to mention, exhausting. That little boy is strong. And when he doesn’t want to do something? Determined. He kicked and stomped and tried his best to squeeze his way out of the little haircut chair. He even figured out how to unhook the seatbelt.

I feel for Leo. I really, really do. I don’t know what it is about a haircut that turns Leo into something from The Discovery Channel’s Feral Animal Series. I got lots of sympathetic looks from parents yesterday—one mom whispered to me “My son was like that too.” I nodded and went back to my poor little wild animal. I know Leo will outgrow this someday, but in the meantime, I still feel like the meanest mom on the planet every three months.

I did everything right. I called ahead and got the “nice” guy hairdresser, Joe, who is patient, kind and soft spoken. He knows us and has cut Leo’s hair before (word is he has experience with the “tough” ones). I made the first appointment of the day so the salon wasn’t too crowded. I had Dora booted up on the DVD player before Leo was even in the chair.

In the end, none of that mattered. There was thrashing and tears and both Leo and I ended up with a good inch of dark blonde hair on our fleece jackets (you don’t think Leo allowed Joe to put on the cape, do you?). And in the end, after it was all done and the neck was shaved and the sideburns clipped and the bangs were gone, I wiped Leo’s tears, helped him down from the chair and Leo…hugged Joe.

Of course he did.

Leo, just hours before the dreaded haircut, pictured with his follicle-encouraging scrambled eggs (note the sideburns. It was time.).

On Joy

The highly anticipated “Hey Diddle Diddle” DVD arrived in the mail yesterday. It did not disappoint. To borrow Amy’s description, Leo practically vibrated he was so excited to watch it.

Last night, as I performed my evening delicate balancing act of cooking dinner-unpacking lunchboxes-unloading-loading dishwasher, Leo watched his new “movie” in silent rapture. Silent, that is, except for when he was jumping up and down and exclaiming “Yay!” and singing along with the lyrics.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again. Leo’s ability to express joy and celebrate the littlest things in life is humbling and inspiring. And I do mean celebrate. I know this is true of many kids, but I’ve never seen it like I see it in Leo. Another bonus? You always know where you stand with Leo. When things are good they are very, very good. When they are not they are…not.

It’s not just that Leo expresses happiness differently and more, shall we say, exuberantly. It’s that he prefers to be happy. He actively seeks this joy. It’s the good old default setting that I wrote about once. I think about this often, especially, say, when he's run to the back of the mini van or decided he absolutely does not want to get dressed for school. Sure those moments are maddening and bang-my-head-against-the-wall worthy. But they are fleeting. And they are only a tiny part of the whole, complicated package that makes up Leo.

I was talking to a friend the other day about our kids and she mentioned how she felt almost frustrated with her typical child, for not being more open about how she felt about “fun” stuff. Was she having a good time? Did she think what they were doing was exciting? With her other child, who has Down syndrome, there was never a question. If she was happy everyone knew. And if she wasn’t, well, you know the rest.

What I wouldn’t do to attain the place that Leo has found. Oh I do, but not with such ease. Luckily, Leo’s glee is often contagious.

Leo with Grandpa at Laurelhurst Park, summer 2008. Just look at that face.

Ebullient, unrestrained joy is a beautiful sight to see. I hope you get to experience it someday. It truly makes all the hard stuff, well, not so hard.

When All Else Fails: Hump Day List

Halloween is over and it’s apparently Christmas, did you know? At least according to Midtown Manhattan. The Radio City Christmas tree is up and and the pretzel/hot dog vendors have their little carts regaled in Santa hats and twinkling white lights. Life is passing by at an uncomfortable speed and I want to put the brakes on and enjoy, because no question, October to December is my absolute favorite time of year.

In other news, the only realistic blog I have in my right now is bullets, so here goes:

-Ellie continues with the nightly bedtime hilarity. It seems that every other night she plumb passes out with the help of her ballet shoes music box and a long backrub. But the nights that she doesn’t? She is often in and out of our room a half a dozen times with various comments and requests. Mostly, she just has to tell us again that she loves us, which, as I’ve said before, how can you argue with this?

-Monday night, however, she ventured beyond the second floor and scared the heck out of me when the little stealth Ninja silently, snuck up on me as I washed dishes at the kitchen sink. She said “Hi Mommy.” And when I gasped and jumped three feet, I thought she was going to burst into tears. She couldn’t figure out how she could have scared me.

-Thirty minutes after the sneaking-up-on-me incident, Ellie knocked on our bedroom door to give Erin her watch (which she had found in the bathroom). This was after she tried to stuff it under our door. It just cracks me up how she knocks on our door.

-Ellie now has homework. She’s three. I think it’s a little silly but oh well. Apparently many of the parents have requested it. It’s just little worksheets. She knows a lot of her letters and numbers but the actual writing of them is definitely new to her. But she’s very excited to settle down on Saturday mornings to do it and bonus: when she’s doing it Leo wants to do his, so that works out well.

-Leo has an amazing imagination. He sees “stairs” in the shape that he’s bitten pizza. The other night he declared the tortellini he was eating for dinner looked like a pirate hat (and you know what? He was right). And of course, he put the little tiny tortellini pirate hat on his head (not all of his imaginative observations are food related, I assure you, these are just recent ones).

-Leo says “bless you” when someone sneezes. He’s really quite a polite child. I love it. He’s also started saying “Here you go” when he gives you something.

-In shopping news, how cute is that whale sweater up there? I spotted this at Forever 21 (not a store I frequent, in fact I have never even been in one) which I ventured into on my way to work this morning. This sweater reminds me of 1983 and I love it. Unfortunately the extra small would be huge on Ellie but mental note to check back there again when Ellie is a little bigger.

Words of Wisdom

I think this is pretty great.

I read it this morning, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, for reasons I can't go into right now.

It's been a hard week. Something is up with Ellie. She has a cold or is coming down with something. She's whiny from the moment I pick her up, to the moment she passes out, which for every night this week, has been at about 10 p.m. She tries my patience like no one I have ever known (even Leo!) and my frustration is often tinged with guilt. She wants macaroni and cheese now! She doesn't want that kind of macaroni and cheese! It's too hot! She wants her new library book! She doesn't want her library book on her bed!

And oh is our girl emotional. Yesterday morning, after Leo boarded his bus and I drove Ellie to preschool, she asked me where Leo was (though she knew full well). I watched her consider the morning's events, through the rear view mirror, and then she announced quietly: "When Leo goes, I make tears."

Is she needy because she misses me? Is she like this because she doesn't see me all day? Is she starved for attention? Or is she just plain tired? Probably a combination of all of that. I try to make up for everything on the weekends (letting her sleep in, when possible, extra cuddles, plenty of down time) but that only goes so far. Or is this just what it feels like to be three years and four months old? How can I not give her "just another hug." One more kiss. More back rubs. There are never enough back rubs.

So yes, we are all just a bit exhausted. But I know these moments are fleeting. These too, shall pass.

Meanwhile, Leo has had a wonderful week. He's been talkative and agreeable and helpful and although I'm afraid to even say it out loud, the new car seats seem to be working out quite well. I haven't had a "get in the van" meltdown once this week!

And in the mornings, before the sun comes up, I wake to Leo's warm little body squeezed up against mine. In his sleep he is more cuddly than he is awake. He rests his little baseball mit palm on my side and breathes quietly, serenly. Gone are the days of his torturously restless sleeping habits: the epileptic octopus sleeper is officially no more. He's now a sweet little bed companion. And when he wakes and sees Erin and me both there he breaks into one of his trademark grins, wraps his arms around our necks and declares "Whole Family!"

***

Often, the comments section for little pieces like the one I posted above are not worth reading, but there were a few gems in there, for sure. A few bear repeating, especially for me, this week.

“Honey, I have three sons – all grown. All I can say is I really wish I would have yelled less and drank more.”--Tabatha

"What I’ve learned: My five don’t remember the countless healthy, home cooked meals that I have spent years of my life planning and cooking, but they all still whisper fondly of the night mom was so sick that all she could do was dump a box of Lucky Charms in a large mixing bowl, pour in the milk and hand them their own spoon and told them to dive in!"--Kristi

"I’ve learned that sleep is overrated (also coveted, but still overrated). When my youngest is a surly teenager, I’ll wish he still wanted to wake me up at 5 a.m. to cuddle and talk to me about superheroes."--Lylah

"My biggest lesson is learning to move on. I’ve made mistakes. I’ll make more. I can’t dwell on them. I can learn from them, hope my children learn from them, and move on to the next thing."--Jules

"Just try to remember…little people, little problems, big people, big problems. What seems insurmountable today, will be nothing in a few years."--Dianne

"Apologize. Teach them that no one is perfect, not even parents."--Keyona

"My mother in law told me this once and I always try to remember it whenever I get OCD about cleaning my house:
'Your children will not remember how clean your kitchen floor was when they are older, they will remember the time you spent with them when you wanted to clean the kitchen floor.'"--Random Chick


"No matter how tired I am, or how much I don’t want to, if they ask for another good night kiss, to read a story, sing a song, play a game, sit in my lap, “help” me with something, I always say yes. Because I never know if this will be the last time they ask.Hearing you are loved by your parents is something you never outgrow, even if you act like you don’t care."--Sarah

Amen.

It Was Halloween. You'll Just Have to Trust Me.

As much as I would love to regale you with adorable photos of our Halloween (consisting of a neighborhood Halloween parade straight of out Norman Rockwell followed by trick or treating on our street on a blustery evening with the backdrop of an exquisite autumn sky), I cannot.

I forgot to put the memory card back into my camera.

I KNOW!

Oh well. You couldn't take photos of Ellie squealling "Mommy I'm having fun! I LIKE trick or treating!" No, but snapshots of those little moments are sealed in my mind forever, thankfully. And there will always be this.

Leo still hasn't mastered "Trick or Treat," preferring to greet his candy bearers with an enthusiastic "Happy Halloween!"

Nobody seemed to mind.

In other news, we made it! 31 for 21!

I want to say how much I enjoyed finding some new blogs through this fun and worthwhile exercise and once again thank Tricia for orchestrating it all. I like to think with our combined tenacity and creativity we're making some kind of difference out there, in terms of raising awareness of Down syndrome.

And I think it's safe to say that blogs have saved me a little, saved my sanity at least. It goes without saying in our busy little lives that sometimes it can feel like you're the "Only One." But I think we can all agree that is the farthest thing from the truth.

We're all in this together.

Thanks for following along this month and I hope you'll stick around!

The Fish Makes Progress

Leo today, "helping" me rake. This boy could eat a Popsicle outside in January, I swear (and mark my words, he'll try to).

Leo did SO well at swim class today. I haven't talked about it much here because, well, it's been a little rough at times. It's his first "independent" class in that there is no Mama or Mommy in the pool. Leo is a fish and LOVES the water but I think it's been a little shocking to him to be in there without one of us. Also? They work him hard in this class. He swims the length of the pool and uses a tiny floating noodle for support which means he's essentially treading water for forty-five minutes. But every single veteran mom I've talked to at this particular class says her child has learned to swim here so hey, that's good enough for me.

The class is for kids with special needs and each child is assigned a 1:1 aide. The last two classes he's had wonderful aides (they're all volunteers). Today he was paired with a father-daughter team which Leo adored. Have I mentioned he seems to have a thing for teenage girls? He hugged and kissed (or at least tried to) Miss Alexandra at the end of the class.

I watch Leo the whole time through a little room off the pool. I actually think it's the lifeguard lounge but no one has said a word about it being a problem. I have to, otherwise Leo will see me sitting on the sidelines and either cry or try to escape to me. But if I'm not there? Out of sight out of mind, it seems (though I'm sure that's not really the case).

Leo does better each week and today, did great the first thirty minutes. After that, I honestly think he just got tired (it's technically an hour class but once everyone gets in the pool it's really more like forty-five minutes, still pretty long for a six year old though, when you think about it). So after those thirty minutes in the pool today he did what he's prone to do, which is climb out of the water, sit on the edge with his arms firmly crossed and a stubborn "No way I'm DONE" look about him.

His aide today, Leon's dad (another member of the Club 47) was pitch perfect with Leo. I watched as he talked to him (couldn't hear what he was saying but there was obvious negotiation going on). Leo still shook his head and adamant NO. Then Leon's dad pointed to the rainbow striped beach ball that was bobbing by and Leo's eyes lit up. Yesss. Now we were back in business and Leo slid effortlessly back in the pool. They then proceeded to practice swimming toward the ball and Leo dog paddled toward it and it was all kinds of wonderful.

After class I thanked Leon's dad profusely and commented on how amazing he was with Leo.

"Oh I have a bit of experience with the stubbornness," he laughed, giving me a knowing look.

Sometimes? Sometimes it's just such a relief to be around people who GET IT.

Halloween Begins: Parade at Leo's School

I feel like it was just last week that it was last Halloween. This year I took Ellie to the parade at Leo's school for the first time and she loved it (what's not to love about five hundred "big kids" all dressed up?).


Aferwards we joined Leo in his class for a party. Obviously they take their celebrating very seriously.

Today the kids were precious and adorable and I thought what I think often, which is that this is all going by entirely too fast.

The Things We Do

At some point, Leo developed a bit of an obsession with "Hey Diddle Diddle." He has several books that feature the little diddy. He was overjoyed when he discovered all the versions on YouTube (this one is my fave, it's old school (from what I recall, anyway) "Sesame Street"). And of course, I downloaded a few interpretations for him from iTunes (seriously, what did we parents do without technology? KIDDING).

This morning, however, he demanded to watch "Hey Diddle Diddle" on TV. He was dressed and had finished his breakfast, so we were pretty much golden. But there's that tricky gray area between breakfast and the bus where Leo can sometimes teeter toward crabby. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells to keep him in a "good" mood before the bus arrives. Most days, picking out what he's going to bring on the bus is a perfect distraction (yesterday it was the pink Dora umbrella and Ellie's Disney Princess clock (shh, don't tell Ellie). I can only imagine what the bus driver and aide must think of Leo (and me). But as I've said, whatever gets you on the bus, right?

So in the midst of a teetering on angry Leo moment this morning, I promised him I would find a "Hey Diddle Diddle" movie, fairly confident that Google wouldn't make me out to be a liar. It's not that I get Leo every little thing that he asks for, not at all, but honestly, he asks for very little. And I get kind of excited when he expresses an interest in something. And making him happy? It's not only priceless, but so very easy. And you can't say that about everyone, that's for sure.

Talk Talk Talk and GO TO SLEEP

I can't get over how much Leo has been talking lately. It's truly a language explosion. I mean, I'm talking stories here folks. Long, detailed tales...of what, I'm often not sure. Poor guy. I can sometimes tell by context, but often, as I've said before, it's full on charades around here. But I love that he's talking as much as he is. To me, that in itself is huge progress. I know we'll get there. And do I even have to explain how exciting it is when I do figure out what he's saying? And really, bless him for being the most patient person I have ever met. He rarely gets frustrated with his slow mommy.

Ellie on the other hand is at the other far extreme. She will.not.stop. Isn't life funny?

Speaking of Ellie, I just returned from her room where, at a little past 9 p.m. she's informed me she can't go to sleep because she's "tendering (pretending) her room is a school." This involves piles of stuffed animals with books in front of them and stuffed animals on her bookshelf which seem to be doubling as bunkbeds. Boarding school, perhaps? Oh and also? She can't go to sleep because she has the hook-ups.

It's hard to get too mad when she also keeps busting into my room to tell me "Mommy I just luff you!"

Sweet dreams to all. Eventually.

Hi

I'm sputtering out. I hope no one is disappointed in me. I'm going to really try to go out with a bang and get my act together the next few posts, honest.

And I'm having a hard time concentrating as right now Ellie is up there clanging around in her room, dropping Little People behind her bed and then demanding them to be retrieved and having long conversations with her stuffed animals. Every few minutes she opens her door and calls for me. Some nights are fine and she goes right down. Some nights, no.

So.

Does anyone have any questions? About anything? Down syndrome related or no?

Help?

:-)

Fail

I missed posting yesterday. My first fail of the month. Gah. I'm not even going to get into the excuses because I'm pretty sure no one here really cares how tired I was last night. I'm going to try to post twice today so that will still be "31 for 21," right?


It was another beautiful fall weekend here. Seriously I just want to bottle up these days that are just so bright and clear and mild with just the perfect touch of appropriate chill to the air, the backdrop of everything being glorious changing leaves. I. Love. Fall.

I do not, however, love the raking of those glorious leaves. I managed to rake most of the backyard and then there was a bit of a logjam getting the leaves from our backyard to the curb. See above. Hopefully this year I will get them to the street before the snow arrives.

As I mentioned, Leo was a little under the weather all weekend so he was extra cuddly and at times, a little extra cranky. Sunday afternoon after a busy morning of playing Chuck it with Ruby outside, Leo, Ellie and I piled into bed for some quiet time (since there would be no napping). All I can say is thank you Nick Jr. for the Halloween marathon. It was just what the doctor ordered.

In bed Leo asked for a snack and then announced that he wanted an apple. Since I had just brought him grapes (inhaled in five minutes) and then a banana, I told him he could get his apple. So he disappeared downstairs for a few minutes and returned with not one, but three apples, one for Ellie and one for me too (though neither of us had asked for one). That boy. Even when he's crabby, he's a sweetie.

Bet You Didn't Realize This Was Also a Recipe Blog

Today we finally built a fire in our outdoor fire place. Fire pit? Anyway, it was a gorgeous fall day. Absolutely perfect. I did some raking. The grass is clear but all the leaves are in a gigantic pile that leads halfway down the driveway but hey, I did some raking!

There was much happy play. Leo is a little under the weather with a bit of a cold. He's always such an extra sweetie when he's sick. I hate that he doesn't feel well but I love the extra cuddles and the overall mellow(er)ness. Yes, that's a word. I just made it up. We skipped swim class and I think it was a good thing. And I'll be honest, after a busy week it's pretty nice to not have to go anywhere.

There's a brand new pink car seat in our dining room and a brand new (to us) pink car seat cover on the way in the mail (thank you nice Craigslist Lady). Let's hope this ends the War of the Carseats.

Back to the fireplace. It was a little windy. The wood was a bit damp. By the time Erin got the fire going and I'd gathered the s'mores ingredients, the fire was...small. And yes that's code for did you know it's possible to make s'mores in the microwave? Well it is. So now you know.

Take Your Ellie To Work Day

Ellie came to work with me today.

She was very impressed by all the "high buildings" and loved seeing the swarms of taxi cabs (she's a fan of the "Taxi" song). But ultimately, I think if you asked her she would say the highlight was definitely the candy corn on my desk.

Look at that concentration. You could power a small city with that intensity.

She kept asking for "just one more" (she is the absolute queen of just one more).

At the end of the day she announced she was taking one corn home for Mama and one for Leo. The corns lasted about two blocks.

TGIF!

Sometimes I Can’t Believe This is My Life (Or: It's a Good Thing They're Cute)

Do you want to know what the latest thing to make my heart race and blood pressure mount is? It’s not lost children or a near car accident (OK of course those things freak me out). Lately it’s been something quite mundane that fuels the adrenaline.

It’s getting the kids to get in their car seats to go somewhere. ANYWHERE.

At some point, a war was declared. They both want to sit in this seat.

Post Easter fest at daycare, 2009 (Ellie found the chocolates unbeknownst to me until it was clearly, too late).

And ironically, they both want to sit in the seat, that happens to be too small for either one (don’t worry, I ordered Leo a new one today). He informed me he wanted a pink one which, fine, expect I’m anticipating Ellie will not be pleased about this (read: JEALOUS) and perhaps a whole new war will begin.

What happens is this: They bound for the car and both try to sit in the same, pitiful, gray six year old car seat. There is nothing appealing about it except for the fact that they both want it. Whomever doesn’t get their tush into the seat fast enough pouts. If it’s Leo, he will often run to the back of the minivan, vault over the third seat and into the trunk, cackling all the way. Awesome. If it’s Ellie, she will sit on the little storage bin between the two front captain’s chairs and pout and whine and stomp. Equally awesome.

Tuesday I was almost late to Leo’s parent-teacher conference because of their little shenanigans and I assure you, I am onto them and anticipate this happening every.single.time.we.go.anywhere. If we have to be on time to anything I always leave extra early now. Did I mention on that Tuesday that it took them fifteen minutes to settle the argument of who would sit in that darn car seat?

At night, when I pick them up from school and it’s cold and dark and all I want to do is get home and unload the car and make dinner, there is Ellie, whining about she wants “that chair” and there is Leo, taunting me with his laughter.


During more peaceful car seat times (sidenote: poor Leo--you think he has a cold in that first picture?).
No amount of pleading works. Counting to five or ten seems futile. What I am almost always forced to do is physically begin to put one of them in their chair (which I assure you is hugely popular—NOT). They wiggle out, cry and insist they can do it themselves. Which they can. Eventually. Eventually being the operative word here.

What I wish for is two identical pink car seats but I just don’t have a spare $500 laying around (what two of those puppies would cost—I know, yikes!).

There was also discussion and both Leo and Ellie agreed that if they could have "Princess covers" on their respective car seats that then, they would sit in them and not argue. Well it turns out they don't make Princess car seat covers (which is pretty shocking since they make everything else Princess) and honestly if they did I might have a hard time actually buying them. I did briefly consider these but don't know if they would do the trick. I'm telling you, desperate times call for desperate, well, you know.

So free time is being spent trying to find a pink car seat covers online for Leo's old chair, which is soon to be Ellie's new chair (dang they’re spendy too, even on eBay, costing more than some car seats, even). Of course Etsy has stinking adorable ones. I did find a promising looking used one on Craiglist but am waiting to hear back if it’s still available (and you know how that goes).

I realize, in the grand scheme of parenting and behavior troubles this borders on absurd. In terms of writing this post as a part of “31 for 21” during Down syndrome Awareness Month, let’s just say Leo and Ellie have a delightfully typical sibling relationship, as illustrated by the Car Seat Ridiculousness of Fall 2010. In short, they love to drive one another bonkers (and me right along with them).

Needing a Do-Over. Or Maybe Just a Weekend.

Tonight was one of those nights. I was still on the bus at 6:30 p.m., still not really anywhere near home, when I should have been pulling out of the preschool parking lot. The turnpike was the proverbial parking lot.

Cranky people on the bus talked too loud on their cell phones. We finally reached my stop and I sprinted to the car and then sped toward school and there were Leo and Ellie, the last to be picked up (though the director assured me that many parents were late thanks to an accident on 280). Yes there were my children, dancing in the parking lot (under the watchful eye of the director, don't worry) under the light of a plump, autumn moon. They shrieked when they saw me as they always do, and suddenly ninety pounds of squirming love were bounding toward me.

We came home to a hot cheese pizza (Erin brilliantly ordered delivery) and the bubs got to watch "Diego" while eating dinner. Hey, it was late and the evening was a lost cause, let's face it. Did I mention Ellie was sneaking sips of my Diet 7-Up?

I'm sure they thought the whole thing was great fun, but me? I'm tired. Tomorrow is Friday, right?

He's That Kid

“Well, you know Leo is very special,” began Mrs. L. at this morning’s early morning parent-teacher conference.

I rolled my eyes and giggled a little, “Yeah, special, I’ll say!”

Hey, a little humor never hurt anyone, that’s my motto.

“No, really,” Mrs. L. continued, reaching over to touch my arm. “Really.”

So the first good news is that in spite of Mrs. L's accolade, I managed to not cry (happy tears) at this term’s parent-teacher conference. Leo is doing well. Handwriting is progressing; math is going well. He’s apparently a master colorer (this is big in terms of hand writing). Socially, he appears to have broken up with his little girlfriend (ah, young love) but is good buddies with a boy in his class named Terry.

His favorite subject appears to be social studies. He reportedly enjoys listening to a lesson and then answering questions about what he’s learned (he’s that wiggling kid in the front row with his hand always up, says Mrs. L, which I love).

Of course the transitions we struggle with at home are nowhere to be found at school, which is wonderful (I’d rather he behave at school and fall apart at home but still, sure doesn’t make our lives any easier). The noise sensitivity he displayed last year seems to have dissipated so that’s good. He’s starting on the Edmark spelling program, which will mean his homework is a bit more time consuming, so we’ll see how that goes. And he’s going to have weekly spelling tests which for some reason is exciting to me.

But perhaps most importantly, I learned that Mrs. L. prefers tea over coffee, making my holiday gift preparation much easier this year.

And, pictured above, my little drummer boy, just because.

Mornings

I can almost hear the crickets around here lately. Yes it's been pretty exciting. And so tonight, I shall continue the shenanigans by writing about how I am SO NOT the mom who does things the night before and yet tonight I was required to be because not only do I have to be out of the house by 7:15 with both kids but I have to be at Leo's parent-teacher conference at 8 a.m. I'm sure many parents do things much harder than that every day and to those who do, I salute them! But I, well, they (I'm looking at you Leo and Ellie!) are slow moving morning people and definitely creatures of habit (like most kids). I will do my best to declare tomorrow morning an "Adventure" (they love that). In the meantime: Coffee. (For me, silly.)

Gaaaaahhhhhh.

It will be fine. I made the lunches. And most importantly, did I mention I readied the coffee pot?

In more restful news, this morning Ellie came into our bed around 5:30 a.m. She has definitely corned the market on pathetic now that she's in the Big Girl Bed. I hear her little footsteps outside our door and then her quivering tiny voice: "I want to come to your room, Mommy." This morning she fell back asleep, almost instantly. Shortly after her appearance, Leo showed up, climbed into bed and somehow sneekily lodged himself between Ellie and me. He is a heat seaking body heat missile, that boy. Soon, he was also snoring.

Thirty minutes later, my alarm went off. I hit snooze, rolled over and watched the two little peaceful people in my bed for a few moments longer. Pure, brief sweetness.

Conundrum Status

With plans to go sort of DIY Superman for Halloween this year (Leo has a cool cape already and several Superman Ts to choose from--all that was needed were some blue leggings) Ellie and I hit the mall this morning to complete Leo's look. But first, Ellie got a Louise Brooks bob (pictures to come) and then we headed to the usual suspects in search of the needed Man of Steel pants (Gap Kids, A Children's Place, Macy's). And yes, I'm pretty sure Superman totally shops at those stores.

Nothing.

On a whim I decided to hit Old Navy on the way out, even though we were in jeopardy of being late for our play date. Well, it was hard to justify spending $19.99 on the "perfect" blue leggings (which I did spot) when I found this ensemble, on clearance for $4.99!

Often, it's for the best when you don't find what you want, because sometimes, you find something even better. Ah, little life lessons from the mall.

Weekend Update

Today was Leo's swim class. I'll write more about this when I am more awake but today was a pretty good day for him. Too bad he flips out if I watch poolside (he'll try to leave the water and bound into my arms). So I get to spend most of the class in the lifeguard lounge right off the pool. I watch through the window as he bobs up and down on his little noodle and foam barbell. He's also working on kicking and dunking and paddling.

After swimming I let him play at the community center playground (his big reward). We played catch with a ball and he climbed on some of the structures. It was crazy windy and quite cold. When it was time to leave, he left with no problem. For some reason I find when Leo is alone (without Ellie) he's just so much more agreeable and less stubborn. I guess it's an attention thing, I don't know.

Maybe he left so swiftly because we were off to one of his favorite places. The grocery store! While he snacked on Veggie Booty, I did some quick shopping. Then it was home for some quiet rest time (well, I made apple crisp and did laundry, so not all that restful, but certainly relaxing). Later we played outside in the backyard and I marveled at how downright cold it is now and how it seems like just weeks ago the kids were half naked in the backyard and painting. Time flies. I also decided it was just way to windy to bother raking. Right.

The kids passed out in 2.9 seconds tonight (love it). Now I'm going to watch DVRed "30 Rock" and "Parenthood." World's Most Boring Post. And a rocking Saturday night!

On the Eve of the Weekend

I don't have anything very profound to say. It's Friday. I'm tired. We made it through another week and it was a lovely Friday night. I broke out the new Disney Princess Sing-A-Long DVD that arrived in the mail last week and I can honestly say the house has not been as quiet as it was while Leo and Ellie watched that (and yes, I've become a bit of a Princess Enabler. What can I say?). They were completely enchanted. At least temporarily. I honestly think Leo likes Princesses now because he sees how happy they make Ellie.

For dinner I made grilled cheese sandwiches with Swiss cheese and turkey and apples (from picking last weekend, we still have a TON) and cranberries and dijon mustard. OK the kids had plain old grilled cheddar if I'm going to be perfectly honest here. We let the kids eat their sandwiches in front of the TV which always elicits shrieks of joy and jubilation. Hey, it's Friday night.

I can't describe the feeling of peace and contentment that falls upon me on Friday evenings when we finally arrive home. We pull up to the house and no lights are on and I know that inside it's a bit of a wreck and there are piles and piles of laundry to be done and then folded and put away and rugs to be vacuumed and floors to be swept but no matter. Because we get to be home for two straight days and the most that we have to do is swimming class for Leo on Saturday and a play date on Sunday and throw in some coloring and Play Doh and raking leaves (jumping in leaf piles). I also need to do a lot of baking or cooking or both, requiring apples.

After the kids go to bed there will be magazines and books and wine and maybe a movie. And of course, Scrabble on my iPhone (it's an illness, truly). And oh yeah, those chores but they never go away. We'll get them done. Or we won't.

It's just nice to be home.

He's an Artist. He's a Techie

Leo is becoming quite the artist.

Here’s one of his favorite things to draw, and one of his favorite things in general.

Yes, it’s a horse, or as Leo refers to it, a “whore.” It’s true, he’s a little embarrassing to take to a farm when, upon seeing the horse he exclaims, “Whore! Whore!” at the top of his little lungs. We just keep walking.

We weren’t sure what this was. It was drawn on the back of the horse drawing. Erin suggested perhaps it’s a tick that was on the horse? An homage to the New York City bedbug epidemic of 2010?

In other news, we woke up with a start yesterday morning. Erin uses her iPhone as her alarm clock and Leo is an expert with that thing. He’s also mastered the art of silently sneaking off with it. He is an iPhone ninja. That's why, at 6:12 a.m. “I’m a Little Teapot” began blaring from YouTube. Let’s just say Erin and I were both definitely awake.

I know there’s been plenty of talk about using technology, specifically iPads for kids with speech and other delays and communication issues, but I have to say, it’s just incredible how quickly Leo (and other kids too, I know he’s no special case) figure out how to use these devices. Within minutes, Leo figured out how to scroll through pictures and (as explained earlier) access “saved” YouTube videos. Incredible.

Then there was the time that Leo set a security pass code on our cable, rendering it, gasp, temporarily inoperable. But we won’t talk about that.

Costume Conundrum

Halloween-wise, Ellie is set. Grandma Jerry sent her a great thrift store score last month, a Snow White costume, to which she immediately announced she wanted to be, what else, Snow White. Awesome and so easy! (I didn’t bother to tell her that a Belle (her fave) costume exists, figuring what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her).

This seems to be the first year that anyone really has an opinion on what they want to be, which is kind of fun.

Last year I offered up the Clifford the Big Red Dog costume to Ellie and she was Miss Agreeable.

Leo went as a dog (the dog costume was also conveniently on hand), which is probably not a shock to anyone.

Last week Leo wanted to be a princess. I’m trying to convince him that he’d make a great pirate (we happen to have the accoutrement for it). But this morning he announced he wants to be a witch.

I’ll keep you posted.

Pickin'

And now, the pictures.




They will actually pose together now (sporadically). Leo always wants to hold on to Ellie for far longer than she'd prefer though, and invariably, kissing is attempted.

Leo kept sticking out his tongue in the pictures. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


My dad noted something quite interesting about this photo: "Leo is such a love bug even when he takes a bite out of an apple it is in the shape of a heart," my dad wrote to me in an email, after I sent him this photo. Well, would you look at that?

Silly geese.


Grandma Jerry (Erin's mom) showing Ellie the finer points of apple picking.

Moving on to the pumpkin patch.


I am captioning this one "Tote that barge, lift that bail. Get to WORK Ellie!"
She is, apparently, very serious about her pumpkin patch.

Nerd Alert

Since I’ve already confessed my doll house hoarding issues, I may as well come right out and say I’m a huge nerd about decorating for the holidays.

I love it.

Front porch
I have to give Erin credit for the outdoor decor this year. She was definitely the brains behind it and I think she did a fabulous job.

Wide shot

I think I get it from my mom. She loved it too and did what I do, which is scour garage sales and thrift stores for décor. Not to mention post holiday 75-percent off sales. Those make me positively swoon.

Side yard

I got these little bears at Goodwill a few weeks ago. I made a trip there to drop off some donations and...well...yeah. I thought these guys were so hokey that they were ultimately, cute.

This seems to be the first year that the kids will leave the decorations alone and not try to, you know, wreck them, so that’s a bonus. I don't care if they play with the unbreakable ones and luckily, most of them are.

The quality on this photo is horrific (sorry), but I had to show off this little garland.

If you look closely, you see that the little balls are actually pumpkins. I know. I pretty much died from the cuteness right there at Goodwill. And when I realized a gigantic roll of it was $1.49, well. My fate was sealed.

You can't tell by looking at it but this bowl is big. Big enough for a centerpiece. I lurve it. It's another Goodwill find from my "dropping off bags" errand. Someday when my adorable Clumsies #1 and #2 are bigger I might actually use it as a centerpiece.

The holiday fun doesn't stop in the kitchen! This little ($2.50 each) find from Target put me in a good mood for an entire afternoon.

Life can be hard. May as well decorate!