Unquestionably Friday

I’ve been so good today. Finally motivated myself to make some long put off calls like scheduling a mammogram (fun!), getting the ball rolling on Leo’s orthotics (wee!) and calling the New Jersey Department of Disabilities to find out if there are ANY other services we are eligible for (Snore, depressing and answer: No).

This weekend the being a grown-up fun doesn’t end as my chore will be to gather up all the information for our taxes to be sent to the accountant. Good thing I can eat Frosted Flakes for breakfast and stay up as late as I want because honestly, this adult thing kind of sucks sometimes.

In Leo morning news, we had another less than stellar a.m. I’ve gotten the kids into a habit where they have snacks in the car on the way to daycare in the morning. Most mornings I think they both suffer from serious cases of l.b.s. (low blood sugar). The kids both eat breakfast that I pack them at daycare and so the precious little sandwich bags of pretzels or Trader Joe’s cheese crackers wonder do us all good. And it all works out fine as long as Leo is happy with the options, but today, nothing pleased him and he became increasingly frustrated with my questions: graham cracker? No! Veggy sticks? No! (followed by foot stomping and then Jello Boy.)

Honestly I think he would do so much better if I had all the time in the world to let him pause and think and decide. I don’t think he does well when barraged with questions and forced to make a quick decision (really, show me a four year old who does). Or maybe he was tired. Or maybe he just didn’t want to go anywhere. Or maybe I am just over thinking this whole thing. In any case I took Ellie out to the car and hoped that Leo would be a better mood when I popped back inside to get him but he was not improved or happier in any way. And even though my back had finally started to feel better this morning, I did what I swore I wouldn’t do which is carry him out to the car. I didn’t feel like I had a choice, considering Ellie was alone in the car out front (driveway, but still I'm not a huge fan of leaving kids in cars unattended).

There were tears in the car, but I was able to distract him by pointing out the clock that he likes to talk about, at an intersection not far from our house. He was fine by the time we reached daycare but then once inside he had some kind of meltdown, he tried to go into the director’s office where he likes to hide under the desk (adorable!). I wasn’t able to catch him in time and so there I was, trying to drag him out from under the desk by his pants (it sounds worse than it was but it still wasn’t good). Honestly this morning I felt defeated and a little embarrassed by the antics. I know it’s not my fault and it’s not really Leo’s fault but I can’t help but wonder, what do people think? I know that I shouldn't care but it's impossible for this not to cross my mind.

I wish that I could have calmly stood there and quietly talked Leo out from under the desk, but I had a bus to catch and a job to get to. Again, I think that Leo needs more of my time. What if I had all day to give just to him? Well than he wouldn’t be at daycare and I wouldn’t be trying to convince him to get in the car to go to daycare only to be standing there trying to fish him out from under a desk. Again, sigh.

After I dropped Ellie in the toddler room with her breakfast, I ducked into Leo’s room to give him some sliced pears to go with his French toast. He was sitting quietly at “his” table (he likes to sit in the corner table and eat by himself--it's not as pathetic as it sounds as he's right next to the other, more crowded table). I sat with him for a moment and he put his head on my chest, his arms wrapped tightly around mine. He sat quietly and just let me rub his back. He is rarely still like this.

This weekend the goal is to be in complete opposition to last weekend, which was fun, (marathon grocery shopping, birthday party, parade, play date) but severely overscheduled. I think we all need a break and some down time.